2013 VMAs: Kanye West Spazzes in Dark “Blood on the Leaves” Performance

Forgive me, but I don’t really keep up with Macklemore & Ryan Lewis, and the girl that’s not Adele, who I discovered last night is named Mary Lambert. I knew of this song and its message, so salute to him on that. But yeah, this was just okay.

Before he took the stage, Macklemore told MTV about his VMA performance, “The performance is going to be…hopefully memorable. Hopefully we will be in the present moment, we will capture some magic on stage that will be transmitted to the televisions of the world.”

I will have forgotten this performance by the time this post is published. Not that it wasn’t “good,” but “memorable” is a totally different story.

I do appreciate Jennifer Hudson being invited to participate in the performance, though. Considering all of that comically bad appropriation of Black culture going on last night, it was nice to see a splash of color on the stage — particularly the splash that can actually sing. R&B acts got zero love last night out of this, so if nothing else, I’m grateful at least one soulful woman made her way on stage.

But again, I won’t remember this performance. Better luck next time, Macklemore. Based on you winning a rap award over Drake and Kendrick Lamar (Iyanla, Fix Hip Hop’s Life), it looks like you’ll have plenty more opportunities.

WATCH MACKLEMORE & RYAN LEWIS’ “SAME LOVE” PERFORMANCE AT THE TOP!

2013 VMAs: Bruno Mars Shows Off His Animal Side in “Gorilla” Performance

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Bruno Mars isn’t a guy who likes to mince words. And the performance of his new single, “Gorilla,” at the 2013 MTV Video Music Awards lets it all hang out.

The song talks about Bruno’s animalistic desire to “make love like gorillas.” Bruno might be a little man, but his voice packs a gorilla-sized punch and he uses his raw talents to create a larger-than-life image of himself.

If you haven’t had the opportunity to see Bruno in action, you’re in for a treat. But be warned, Bruno is on the prowl and he’s not likely to let you go once he’s got you pinned down.

WATCH BRUNO’S ZOOLOGICAL ROMANCE ABOVE!

[MWP]

2013 VMAs: Justin Timberlake Reunites with *NSYNC in Epic Marathon Medley Performance

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Although it might upset Usher, Robin Thicke and Chris Brown, Justin Timberlake solidified his position as the “President of Pop,” as Jimmy Fallon put it during the 2013 VMAs.

While the comparison to Michael Jackson’s “King of Pop” title might raise eyebrows, their ascensions from boy band to solo stardom are strikingly similar.

MTV wanted to honor Justin for his two decades of entertainment and artistic success so they let him have the floor for 15 whole minutes. This gave Justin the opportunity to run through his impressive catalogue of hits, going as far back as “Senorita,” to his latest single “Take Back the Night.”

But let’s be real. The main attraction was the long-awaited reunion with his former bandmates from *NSYNC. Thankfully, Justin didn’t disappoint.

Maybe he took pointers from Beyonce’s Destiny’s Child reunion at the Super Bowl, but it’s clear that Justin realized that after running from his boy band past for the last 10 years, it was time to acknowledge JC Chasez, Joey Fatone, Chris Kirkpatrick and Lance Bass‘ contributions to his success.

Unfortunately, not all was “in sync” on stage. Lance was noticeably off with his timing and JC Chasez tried it when he belted out an uncalled for run at the end of their performance.

Whether this reunion was a one-off or the start of a more long-term reunion remains to be seen. But really, with a fruitful solo career firmly established, it wouldn’t take anything away from Justin to help his former bandmates out with a revenue-generating reunion tour.

That is after her knocks out the promotion and release of the The 20/20 Experience 2 of 2.

WATCH JUSTIN’S PERFORMANCE WITH NSYNC UP TOP

2013 VMAs: Drake Performs “Hold on We’re Going Home” & “Started from the Bottom”

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Drake is the best of both worlds: A sweet, angelic heartthrob and trash talking, braggadocio MC. It’s this potent combination of R&B and hip hop that’s carried him so far and Drake delivered big time while performing at the 2013 VMAs.

Starting out with a recreation of his new ‘Nothing Was the Same’ album cover, Drake crooned the gentle words of his new-age pop gem “Hold On We’re Going Home.” The song, which Rihanna called her “fave new record,” is a fan favorite.

But it is a little on the “soft” side. So after giving the R&B side of his fan base what they wanted, Drake went crunk and got turnt up with his street anthem, “Started from the Bottom.”

Although the song is a blatant posse cut, Drake performed the track solo. Well, not completely, he did have pyro accompanying. But it would’ve been dope if YMCMB joined him onstage for the song. There’s strength in numbers, after all.

WATCH DRAKE’S VMAS PERFORMANCE UP TOP!

2013 VMAs: Robin Thicke Creepily Humps Miley Cyrus’s Flat Butt in Awkward Performance

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Robin Thicke is kind of having the best year ever. So why the hell did he decide to mess it up by dry humping on barely legal Miley Cyrus at the VMAs?

In a desperate bid to have her Britney moment, Miley Cyrus flapped her flat little butt cheeks on stage at the VMAs. She thinks she’s twerking but she’s really just over exerting her tailbone.

This was bad enough as is, but then Robin Thicke, who’s 36 years old, comes out and DRY HUMPS 20-year-old Miley. On the list of MTV’s Awkward VMA moments, this quickly shot up to the top 10.

Oh, and did I mention that Miley’s voice sounded like a hungover, dehydrated, sea lion?

If Miley wants to shed her Hannah Montana image, being a trash bucket ain’t the way to go about it.

WATCH MILEY AND ROBIN EMBARRASS THEMSELVES UP TOP!

2013 VMAs: Lady Gaga Snatches Her Own Wig in Self-Tribute Performance

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While the VMAs usually play host to tributes to legendary pop stars, it’s usually other artists paying homage to their idols. Lady Gaga said eff that, and went ahead and patted herself on the back.

Philadelphia Woman Turns Up Alive Almost Two Weeks After Her Funeral

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A 50-year-old Philadelphia woman named Sharolyn Jackson died, was laid to rest by her family and then turned up very much alive just 13 days after her funeral.

2 Chainz & His Crew Arrested in OKC After Nine-Hour Tour Bus Standoff with Police

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It looks like the feds really are watching 2 Chainz. Hip-Hop’s uncle and his entourage were arrested in Oklahoma Thursday after they refused to allow the police to search their tour bus without a warrant.

Did Khloe Kardashian Tweet About Lamar Odom Cheating Rumors?

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As rumors continue to swirl regarding the demise of Khloe Kardashian‘s marriage to Lamar Odom, the reality star has seemingly taken to Twitter in an attempt to curb the unflattering gossip surrounding her relationship.

President Obama Called Antoinette Tuff, the Brave Woman Who Helped Avert School Shooting in Georgia

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Antoinette Tuff, the woman who is being hailed as a national hero after she talked down a man who intended to commit a mass shooting at the Georgia elementary school where she works, received an unexpected phone call Thursday from President Barack Obama.

The First Photo of Kanye West and Kim Kardashian’s Daughter North West is Here

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Kanye West sat down for a one-on-one interview with his possible future mother-in-law Kris Jenner during the finale of her talk show “Kris,” (because, ratings, of course!) and while there, the rapper revealed to the world the very first photo of him and Kim Kardashian‘s newborn daughter North West!

Marcus T. Paulk (Miles From “Moesha”) Arrested After Kicking Girlfriend in the Stomach

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Marcus T. Paulk, otherwise known as Miles from Moesha, turned himself into authorities on Thursday after he allegedly punched and kicked his girlfriend in the stomach — subsequently putting her in the hospital.

Harry Styles Fully Expects Taylor Swift to Write Songs About Him

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At least one of Taylor Swif’s exes knows what’s coming next!

By now, everyone knows that when you date Taylor Swift, you run the risk of being put on full blast on a future single and while not every man Taylor dates is thrilled about it, at least one ex is realistic about the way she operates.

Angry Chris Brown Vents on Twitter About “Racist” D.A. Who is Out to Get Him

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Surprise, surprise: Chris Brown is angry and doesn’t have any problems letting you know on Twitter.

WTF: Jennifer Lopez’s Stalker Lived in Her New York Mansion for 6 Days?!?

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You’ve got to hand it to Jennifer Lopez‘s stalker; he pulled off something pretty remarkable.

Did Kim Kardashian Eat Her Own Placenta?

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In case you didn’t already feel like you knew everything about Kim Kardashian, here’s one more lovely bit of information about the reality star.

Ben Affleck to Play Batman in “Man of Steel” Sequel, Due Out in 2015

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OMG! And can I get a “hell yes?” Ben Affleck, who pretty much owned 2012, will be getting behind the wheel of the Batmobile!

Tina Fey’s Laptop Full of Jokes Was Stolen, and It Was All Caught on Tape

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These days, most people shouldn’t be surprised that everything they do may or may not be caught on film.

Raz-B’s Manager Says Coma Report Was a Hoax

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In a statement sent to CNN earlier this week, Raz-B’s manager revealed that reports claiming that the singer was comatose and on life support after being smashed in the face with a bottle at a nightclub in China are NOT true.