So listen, I’m not sure if you know, but I’m here to inform you that whoever you fave is, she doesn’t have the range.
Don’t take my word for it. These are just simple facts, at least according to Shirley Bassey. A sketch from a 2001 episode of the British comedy show, Rock Profile, has recently gone viral.
The spoof features Bassey (portrayed by Matt Lucas) hilariously claiming that while many stars such as Tina Turner, Gladys Knight, Sheryl Crow, and Paul McCartney are successful, they simply “don’t have the rage.” Bassey at one point even remarks that she herself doesn’t even have the range: “I don’t care, I don’t have the range.”
When someone compares another singer to any of my favs… pic.twitter.com/dJaxqoiJ9H
— Uma Thurgood Marshall (@_maleficentt) June 20, 2016
The comment has since been used to give a backhanded compliment (i.e. throw shade) when comparing pop stars. However, a self proclaimed Beyoncé stan took social media by storm with an epic thread calling out some of today’s biggest chart-toppers while comparing them to Queen Bey and other vocal legends who do, indeed, have the range.
She doesn't have the range: a thread coming soon.
— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Now before you write me off as bias I'm going to start out with one of my all time favorites. Like, I love her.
— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Amy Lee:
-The first white woman I ever loved.
-Hauntingly beautiful timbre
-She doesn't have the range. pic.twitter.com/YO67l8ooRc— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Selena Gomez:
-the savior pop
-not Quintanilla (who in fact had the range)
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/zVJKbI72JP— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Justin Bieber:
-King of fraudulent bulge pics
-hates black people lowkey
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/mDnMnYXpDa— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Fifth Harmony:
-the most awkward girl group in history
-they don't have the range. pic.twitter.com/TKpAdCBJt2— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Britney Spears
-lipsyncing since the first Bush adm.
-she doesn't have the range (vocally and of motion in the knee) pic.twitter.com/dRrYCK2CaW— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Sia
-excellent songwriter
-a god send to the pop girls
-yet she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/uEfynUpiy7— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Zayn:
-A man
-Respek for breaking away from the whites
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/ZZ8hTV1gie— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Madonna:
-faked having the range in Evita
-embarrassed Prince in Heaven
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/wtCvpweTKa— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Janet Jackson:
-Master of whispers (Varys who?)
-a scammer who loves robbery and fraud
-she doesn't have the range. pic.twitter.com/EzKBbPG2Vg— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Lana Del Rey:
-My fave
-Percocet & exploited AARP funds can't make up for the fact that
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/lIankWWJjo— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Rihanna:
-great, uh, gowns beautiful gowns
-bops and blunts
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/U2OdAbIZN8— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Drake:
-senior undersecretary of the lightskins
-has a legion of dull clones
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/i3VtYI5RhL— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Adele:
-a master manipulator
-beautiful timbre
-everyone thinks she has the range.
-she doesn't have the range. pic.twitter.com/fWaMFzPxtp— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
The Weeknd:
-ruined 6 Inch
-is cocaine goals
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/sknnGr5AcF— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Katy Perry:
-fucked riff raff
-hates Royals by Lorde
-bicurious Christian
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/T1wMvdaByB— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Lady Gaga:
-calmed down & became a tolerable white woman
-hated by Robyn gays with a passion
-doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/ZTH45MWrBa— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Nick Jonas:
-a pay-per-view homosexual
-gayest right before album releases
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/Gk84I1dXvj— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Frank Ocean:
-a myth at this point
-she didn't have the range last we heard from him pic.twitter.com/RkSVJBhVIn— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Alicia Keys:
-a talent
-not a soprano
-takes what she wants
-Mashonda ?
-she doesn't have the range pic.twitter.com/K9v584zNSi— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Jennifer Lopez:
-Mi Tía
-Mariah Carey no la conoce
-ella no tiene el rango pic.twitter.com/xITQYoia9R— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Did your fave make the list? You mad? Calm down, though some most all of these shady comments are low-key accurate, depending on who ask, it’s all done in fun. But for the stans who don’t have take to Twitter to defend their fave, you can sit back and enjoy the second part of the thread.
Tempers are running a little high so let's look at some of the wonderful talents that do have the range.
— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Beyoncé:
-Beyoncé of America
-Daughter of Tina
-Mother of Blue
-Queen of Beys
-She has the range pic.twitter.com/SBVtbuUK0x— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Mariah Carey:
-Queen of
•range
•runs
•shade
•not knowing JLo
-she has the range pic.twitter.com/937yk6OMb1— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Tori Kelly
-needs better material
-EPs were excellent
-she has the range. pic.twitter.com/VsmTyYZzfC— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Ariana Grande:
-?? enunciating
-gave up fucking Big Sean so she's not that bright
-she nevertheless has the range pic.twitter.com/TV3EGT7FMU— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Jazmine Sullivan:
-a masterpiece
-she has the range. pic.twitter.com/GzIeDUtFBl— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Christina Aguilera:
-a vocal coach
-Queen of ramp ups
-virginal at least for that one song
-she has the range pic.twitter.com/oTk2B0Qb2H— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Brandy:
-running Queen. Good cuz
-I don't want her driving and coming near me in these streets
-she has the range pic.twitter.com/YU74RCg7ai— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Celine Dion:
-whew I don't envy the year she's had.
-She has the range. pic.twitter.com/JZV007mZSt— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
Whitney Houston:
-the Voice
-saved her for last
-your fave could never.
-had Aretha shook
-she had the range pic.twitter.com/UjIoh70fah— Madison (@KingBeyonceStan) June 21, 2016
I guess the lesson that we’ve all learned is that our favorite singer probably doesn’t have the range. It’s not gonna stop up us from stanning and debating the haters though!
Have yourself a good laugh with the full 9-minute “she doesn’t have the range” sketch below.
h/t: Twitter Moments