The “Juice,” as they called O.J. Simpson back in the day, is loose.
A wild and scintillating story hit The Daily Mail stating “exclusively” that O.J. Simpson’s parole was at risk due to his being caught masturbating. Supposedly, a female officer spotted O.J. putting in that werk, werk, werk on his manhood while doing her rounds.
OJ Simpson could be denied parole after he was caught pleasuring himself in his cell – strictly verboten in federal prisons in the U.S. – a prison source has told Dailymail.com.
‘OJ is facing a disciplinary hearing after being written up for masturbating in his prison cell,’ said the source. ‘He was caught by a female corrections officer making her normal rounds in late June.’
Dailymail.com confirmed with Lovelock Correctional Center that it does employ female corrections officers.
Now here’s the thing: The man is already in jail. And he’s 70-damn-years-old. What is an old man supposed to do in prison if NOT scratch his balls, fart and jerk off a bit? I mean, he has ZERO privacy. And he sure as hell did not sign up to be a priest and take a vow of chastity, so how is his masturbation habits any federal officer’s business?
TMZ quickly came through with receipts and had its OWN exclusive source dispute the fact that O.J. was even caught masturbating by an officer in the first place AND that masturbating was not allowed in federal prisons.
O.J. Simpson was not involved in an illegal beating in prison … if ya know what we mean.
There’s a story circulating that Simpson’s potential parole is in jeopardy because he was caught masturbating in his cell at Lovelock Correctional Center in Nevada. Juicy plot twist, for sure … but our law enforcement sources say it never happened.
The official statement from Lovelock says, “It is against Nevada Dept. of Corrections policy to release inmate disciplinary history to the public. It is also against policy to release inaccurate information. No official from our department would have released the information in question.”
If you’re wondering — we know you are — our sources say there’s no hard and fast rule against masturbation in the prison, as long as you keep it to yourself. Ya know … don’t make a spectacle of your testicles.
Welp. I’m inclined to take TMZ’s word for it. Cause those mofos knew when Michael Jackson died, Rihanna got beat by Chris Brown, when Ray Rice knocked his wife the f**k out and when Prince died. So if anybody knows anything about anything, it’s TMZ.
So Daily Mail, shame on you for trying to make O.J. look like some kind of nasty, R. Kelly-grade pervert. O.J. has enough of a bad rep as it is, so there’s no need to add uncontrollable masturbatory behavior to his list of character flaws.
