Yes, Donald Trump is a very sad man. A very very sad man.

NEW YORK — In a blockbuster announcement today, Donald Trump announced that he is a very sad man who has nothing to live for other than drawing attention to himself.

“I’m a sad, pathetic human being and a complete waste of life,” said Trump, adding that he lives an empty existence, and that he is nothing more than a corporate shill, as well as a failed husband, father, and human being.

“I am the piece of shit you stepped in on your way to work. I am the vomit that hurls out of your mouth when you are sick. I want to kill myself very badly. Thank you.” Trump then slit his throat from ear to ear.

– via Trump Announces He’s A Very Sad Man (The Onion)

NOTE: The Onion — “America’s Finest News Source” — is a parody/satire news site and their articles are not supposed to be taken seriously; they are purely for entertainment purposes only, which is why this one has been republished here. Click Here for more hilarious articles from The Onion.