It’s a mad, mad, mad world out there, folks. A New York man, who also happens to be a father of three, was randomly stabbed five times in the butt by a stranger for no apparent reason.

The man, who wishes to remain anonymous because he’s embarrassed by the incident, was out in Queens with his two-year-old nephew when he walked into a deli.

Suddenly, he felt what he says felt like mosquito bites in his butt. He didn’t realize it right away, but he’d been stabbed five times in the butt and the lower back. The assailant, a black man in a white t-shirt, has so far eluded police.

Watch the crime unfold below in this news report from ABC 7:

What in the hell? Is that what thugs are doing now? Stabbing dudes in the ass?

What would Tupac do? Surely not this.

Thankfully, the victim, who’s going by the pseudonym “Tom” because he fears for his life is recovering, but he’s still in a great deal of pain.

The news broadcaster said that Tom lost count of the staples doctors put in his butt and Tom told the reporter that he has difficulty stepping on his right foot now.

Dudes are gonna have to start walking around with some Nicki Minaj buttpads in these streets if they wanna protect their asses.