Last year, the internet was captivated by a Twitter story told by Aziah King, or better known as Zola. Though it’s less outrageous as Zola’s story, a new story retold on the Twitter has gone viral.
Beginning December 6th, Twitter user @KelliAmirah recounted how she tried to “shoot her shot” with her “fine AF” Uber driver. With memes and gifs, the entertaining 40-tweet thread will have you on a rollercoaster of emotions and actually rooting for Kelli (who is currently a Howard University student) to snag a date with her hot Uber driver.
Y'all I just shot my shot at an uber driver ?
— Ffrenchie ? (@TheKelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
It all started on Saturday night, when me and my friends got an uber to this party.
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
The driver called to let me know he was outside and I’m like bet, we’re coming. Hung up. Made the observation that his voice was fine af
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So we get in the car and I realize the voice match the person. He fine. He light bright. Got a beard. Wearing glasses. All good things
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So there’s minor small talk in the car, nothing major, And our destination is quickly approaching. But I’m not ready to shoot yet
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
Meanwhile me and my friend in the car texting about the whole thing while she’s in the front seat and I’m in the back pic.twitter.com/DsUyd3nhul
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So like we pulling up to the spot and I don’t know what to do. So then I spur of the moment accidentally on-purpose leave my charger behind
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
I’m like oops. Looks like I’ll just have to contact the driver about my lost item pic.twitter.com/qDU9LI6a8q
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So I wait about a half hour or so before I go to the uber app to contact my driver about my “lost item” pic.twitter.com/vLPUsYoJZu
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So I’m calling, and the phone is ringing… and ringing… Y’all I’m at this party in a corner like pic.twitter.com/Ub5zEXkkvh
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
… and then it goes to voicemail. But I wasn’t too hurt cuz it’s also like 1 am. I leave a message and decide to try again tomorrow
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So the next day I still haven’t heard shit back from this man. Mind you, I left my good charger in his car so my phone battery on struggle
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So like midday, around 2ish I call again… and once again get sent to voicemail pic.twitter.com/cBeeIfJYUc
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So I leave another message but at this point I’m thinking how stupid this was. What if this man just keeps my charger? Why you do this Kelli
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
It finally reaches like midnight on Sunday and I still have heard nothing back. At this point, I’m ready to take the L pic.twitter.com/aJD3WTQOdT
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
I go in the uber app & fill out the info on my lost item in hopes that maybe Uber can get this nigga to respond, because calling not working
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So fast forward to Monday night, I’m pressed, tryna cram for my Econ final. Questioning my whole college existence at this point TBH. pic.twitter.com/3srHehfbGI
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
In the midst of my studying, I check my phone and see a new message from an unknown number pic.twitter.com/RBUhFQ6zxG
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
I’m excited. I finally got a response. I’m gonna get my charger back. And now I can actually shoot my shot. pic.twitter.com/gStfZ0jkBF
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So I let him know I’m free today in between my finals from 11-2. He’s like send the address and I’ll try to make it. I’m like bet pic.twitter.com/K9Zw3SDoR2
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So fast forward to today. I’d been up all night studying Econ. Up at the ass crack of morning. Tiredt. Stressed. A mess honestly. pic.twitter.com/gGjhCqk0Hb
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
Went and took my final at 8 am and was back in my dorm by 9:15. Y’all I was so tired. I set some alarms and knocked out
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So after snoozing like three different alarms I wake back up at 11 something and check my phone. He texted. pic.twitter.com/Pzfz3xFRI7
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
Mind you, I look like death. Crust in my eyes, face bare. Wearing sweats and a hoodie. Looking hurt. pic.twitter.com/DxapoUL8gn
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
I text him & ask if he can give me 20 min cuz I was in the middle of something. Really I needed time to get my life together & beat my face
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So 20 min later I’ve achieved a light beat, look a little more put together. I’m ready. pic.twitter.com/yBODFZwv07
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
Now this entire time I’m texting all my friends trying to figure out how I’m gonna shoot this shot. I’m shy and just trash at shooting shots
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So he finally texts me saying he’s here right as I finish my face. And now my anxiety acting up. I’m thinking bout if I really wanna do this pic.twitter.com/saR15bNr6S
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So he lets me know where his car is and I’m like it’s go time. Don’t be a lil bitch. Take a breath and head outside pic.twitter.com/GezfGotFsc
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
I head outside, into this brick ass drizzle, and I’m like sicing myself up as I walk. pic.twitter.com/aGpk6PCNQH
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So I get to the car and knock on the passenger side window and he rolls it down. My anxiety… through the roof.
Me on the inside: pic.twitter.com/onpFSI2LrS— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So I say hey and he’s like “oh hey wassup” and looks for my charger for .2 sec before handing it to me.
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
Now I have a good ass look at his face & I’m like he too fine, I can’t back down.So I’m thanking him for bringing it & he’s like no problem
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
I can tell he’s about to make moves to leave so it’s now or never. Time to actually shoot this shot
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So I say, “Excuse me if this is really forward, but would you like to go out sometime?” pic.twitter.com/XyomQzyHAn
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
And then he like chuckles and smiles, and says “Text me” pic.twitter.com/nHbiEn2Div
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
So yeah. I shot my shot. It actually was successful. The end.
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 6, 2016
Happy ending, right? Not so fast. Kelli has more of this epic story to tell and you won’t believe this twist.
Update: I hate my life. pic.twitter.com/bapaxnVFLI
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 10, 2016
This man is married. Has a whole ass wife. What.
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 10, 2016
I’m really just sitting here so befuddled…
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 10, 2016
Why not just tell me upfront thooo. “Wanna go out sometime?” “I’m married” “okay cool. Bye”
— Nocturnal HoHoHo?? (@KelliAmirah) December 10, 2016
Kelli’s Uber heartbreak tale has been shared thousands of times. Looking back, she admits to BET News that she was “probably a little thirsty” for the Uber guy. However, the experience was just her getting out of her comfort zone.
“I’ve been trying to get out of my comfort zone and be more forward, which is why I did this. I’m also slightly anxious so my anxiety was through the roof throughout the ordeal. The whole leaving the charger thing was such a spur of the moment thing, I didn’t really give myself much time to think about it until after the fact.”
She also compared the situation to the new hit HBO series Insecure. (Shout out to Issa Rae for her Golden Globe nomination!)
“Me and my friend were binge-watching Insecure and talking about how great and relatable the show was. And then, next thing you know, this guy I asked out turns out to be married and I couldn’t help but think how easily it could’ve fit in to the show. I’m very over dramatic, so when I first got the text, I, like, screamed and dramatically slid off my super-lofted bed to the floor while my friend is looking on trying to figure out what happened.”
It’s unfortunate the guy Kelli really wanted bruised her heart in just a matter of days. However, she’s glad that her story brought a little humor to the Twitter-verse. Maybe she’ll get lucky with her next Uber driver.
