At this point, it’s becoming clear that Tasha Marbury is never gonna be in the inner circle of the “Basketball Wives” club. This despite the fact that she’s the only legit “basketball wife” on the show.
From day one, her life and her existence has been mocked by the other women on this show. Whether it’s over her husband’s alleged infidelity or her disastrous business launch, Evelyn Lozada, Tami Roman, Suzie Ketcham and Shaunie O’Neal have no problem crackin’ jokes at her expense.
So in that respect, episode 6 is forging ahead with the the newly minted tradition as the entire episode provides a generous amount of fodder for viewers to laugh and point at Tasha Marbury’s big fat fail.
Let’s get into it, shall we?
The Comedy of Errors that Is Celebrity Sew-Ins
Remember how ill-prepared Tasha’s business partner/assistant was the last time we took a tour of Mrs. Tasha’s weave bar? Well, it didn’t get much of a makeover than as this so-called beauty bar looked more like someone’s unfinished basement with IKEA furniture sprinkled throughout. Hot mess.
Furthermore, for a company called Celebrity Sew-Ins, there sure was a lack of starpower at the event. If Tasha is going to claim Hollywood, she should probably invest in making sure Hollywood shows up at her events. And no, that man Elgin Charles with his failed VH1 reality show, “Beverly Hills Fabulous” does NOT count.
As many wigs and weaves celebrities wear you mean to tell me that Tasha Marbury couldn’t land not even one of these bedraggled D-list celebrities like La Toya Jackson or something?
Instead, Evelyn shows up to the weave bar opening and spots that embarrassing typo (celebritysewwins.com) on Tasha’s signage.
The lovely Mrs. Marbury finally arrives on the scene and she greets the ladies. But they can hardly hold their shade in as they joke about the correct spelling of the company’s website.
“I’m confused. Is it Celebrity Sew Wins or Sew-Ins?” Tami says dripping with shade. Tasha looks like she wants to backhand her.
After enduring Tami’s zingers, Tasha digs a hole for herself even more when while watching a hairdresser work, she callously and openly says she doesn’t know a thing about hair.
At that point, Tami gets fed up with Tasha’s cluelessness about the beauty biz.
“Tasha, why you’d invest in this business?” Tami asks. We never get a good answer, but we do get to see Mrs. Tasha squirm, which is always fun.
Just when you think this stupid weave bar launch can’t probably get any worse, in comes Big Diva.
Looking like a horrifying cross between Dora the Explorer and a Bratz doll come to life, this so-called mascot is introduced as the face of Celebrity Sew-Ins.
Tami summed up this bizarre stunt best in her post-show vlog when she said: “THIS IS NOT CHUCK E. CHEESE!”
The Girls Bail on Tasha’s Birthday
So after shitting all over Tasha’s wack-ass weave bar, the girls then proceed to turn around and shit on Tasha’s birthday party too.
Tami couldn’t even be bothered to shit on Mrs. Tasha in person. She called her up over the phone with her best, “I’m sick and I can’t come to school today” voice talking about she think she might have gotten asbestos from Tasha’s under-construction weave bar event. As soon as Tami started going down that route, Mrs. Tasha was NOT amused.
Tasha looked like she wanted to reach through that phone and snatch the larynx out of Tami’s villainous throat, but she held it together.
Suzie, meanwhile, with her messy ol’ self was enjoying every minute of struggle Tasha was going through. But the fun had only just begun.
As usual, Tasha keeps the girls waiting for her own event. Apparently, the girls sat there for a total of 2 hours and they weren’t pleased with Tasha’s less than thrilling party.
On top of sitting around waiting for Tasha, the party turnout was a little lighter than expected and the girls wasted no time remarking about how empty the venue was. Like they don’t know about CP time. C’mon now.
Their patience runs thin and Shaunie, Evelyn and Suzie decide to bail on the party due to its poor turnout and Tasha’s tardiness. They were however kind enough to leave Tasha with the bag of fake penises and sex toys that they bought her.
Shit, with friends like these….
Tasha does eventually show up for the party and she’s caught off-guard by the fact that the ladies all ditched her event without so much as an explanation. They apparently all have early flights to catch so, you know, that makes it totally OK.
Then, as if the fail gods have not wreaked havoc on her life already, the people bring out her cake with no damn candles and Tasha starts hollering that they need to take the cake back and put some damn candles on it.
Girl, did somebody put a hex on your success? Cause this can’t be life.
The Basketball Wives Inspire Cancer Victim
In an effort to offer so-called “balance” on this show, VH1 producers throw Tami a bone and show the ladies visiting Michelle, a breast cancer victim who was inspired by some of the BBW wives getting a mammogram. The decision to get a mammogram saved her life as she found out she had cancer and was able to receive treatment in time.
Tami, Evelyn and Shaunie pop over to Michelle’s house and absorb her testimony which leaves them feeling classy, dignified and powerful. They really attempt to make a “Waiting to Exhale” moment of the whole thing as Evelyn tears up and Tami puts on her “I’m worried for you, girl” face.
I’m trying my best not to cast aspersions on a sick woman, but I can’t help but roll my eyes at these ladies using breast cancer as a stepping stool for sympathy and a positive PR stunt.
So yeah, in short: That’s nice and all, but can we get back to the shade and trickery?