In terms of ratchet behavior in season 5 of VH1’s Basketball Wives, it’s the white girl, Suzie Ketcham, who is doing the most so far.
While dining at newcomer Tasha Marbury’s house, Suzie blurts out an intensely personally question asking whether it’s true that her husband Stephon Marbury stepped out on her with their chef.
When Suzie dropped that loaded bomb at the table, nearly every woman looked like they’d rather be under the table at that very moment. But quiet as it’s kept, there are some basketball wives with real home training and y’all sure as hell can count Tasha Marbury among them.
Tasha cooly batted her eyelashes at Suzie and curtly confirmed her prying inquiry. As if THAT wasn’t enough, Suzie then dived in and proceeded to ask if the jumpoff was “pretty.”
Even Tasha’s patience was running on E at this point and she just said, “Let’s not give her anymore shine.”
But Tami, the sneaky instigator behind the whole line of questioning, piped up when Tasha inadvertently confirmed another juicy tidbit of the story in that she and Stephon settled with his mistress. Hoes be winning. Tasha’s confirmed that they did indeed cut the sexy chef a check and kept the conversation moving.
I don’t know if Tasha has diplomatic training, but she could probably even elicit a smile from Ahmadinejad.
Later on in the episode, Suzie begins to feel bad for putting Tasha on the spot like that. So she catches up with Evelyn and confesses that she probably was a bit pushy at dinner.
Evelyn doesn’t really give Suzie too much of a hard time about it, cause Lord knows she’s put her nose where it doesn’t belong several times in the past, but her face silently says, “Yeah, girl. You tried it.”
So with all of this guilt weighing on Suzie’s mind, she reaches out to Tasha to settle the score over dinner. Everything on VH1 reality shows either starts or gets resolved over lunch, dinner or drinks so this move makes total sense.
Tasha shows up looking fresh-faced and sweet as a Georgia peach. She has not one ounce of shade in her as she sits down to hear what Suzie has to say. Suzie awkwardly stumbles through a soft-of apology in which she admits to being “blunt,” like that’s supposed to make her invasive questioning easier to swallow.
The real fun starts though when Suzie reveals that Tami was the one who suggested that they dig up dirt on Tasha in the first place. You knew that Suzie wasn’t gonna go down by herself, right?
At that little tidbit of information, Tasha is a bit taken aback since she approached Tami with an open heart. But she shouldn’t be surprised, this is “Basketball Wives”.
Suzie’s So-Called Life
In a surprise twist, the producers of “Basketball Wives” decide to flesh out Suzie’s character a bit by focusing on her backstory and family background. If you didn’t know that Suzie was part Chinese before, you certainly know now that her very Asian-looking cousin Billy has made an appearance on the show.
Apparently, Cousin Billy is some kind of shoulder for Suzie to cry on and so over lunch (see!) she bemoans her sad existence. She’s in her mid-30s with no meaningful career to call her own or man or family to show for it. The farthest she ever got was being Michael Olowokandi’s girlfriend. The highlight of Olowokandi’s career was in the late ’90s and early ’00s playing for the L.A. Clippers. So yeah, this isn’t an all-star that she tricked herself out for.
At least Evelyn Lozada can call herself Antoine Walker’s ex-fiancee. Damn.
So Suzie realizes that she needs to make something of her life, since, you know, this “Basketball Wives” thing isn’t gonna last forever.
Billy is charitable and tries to lift her self-esteem by reassuring her that all is not lost for her and that she will find success on her own terms in due time. Home boy is like the Dalai Lama offering nothing but zen and kindness. While it makes him easy to get along with, he’s not pushing Suzie in the direction that she needs to be pushed.
For example, when Suzie actually floats the idea of returning to college, Billy doesn’t laugh and point-blank ask her what for? Is she going to graduate by 40 and compete with 20-something-year-olds for entry-level positions? Suzie better follow in Farrah Abraham’s footsteps or ask if she can be Evelyn’s full-time assistant.
But wait. That might not work out so well once Evelyn catches wind of the laughs that Suzie had in the limo with Tasha at Evelyn’s expense.
In an attempt to foster deeper bonds with Mrs. Marbury, Suzie and Tasha decided to catch a ride together to Evelyn’s PETA event. The two of them discussed how Evelyn has emerged victorious since the whole Chad split, but things took a left turn when Tasha joked that Ev should probably wear a helmet on her next date. Oop! While Suzie didn’t say the offensive remark, she sure did laugh and yuk it up with Tasha at that comment.
Let’s see how Suzie manages to wiggle her way out of this one.
The Trials and Tribulation of Tami
While it’s true that Tami Roman does indeed look like the Grinch, it’s also true that losing your mother has to be one of the most painful moments any human being can go through.
So even though Tami does a whole lot of unnecessary BS, in this regard, she has my sympathies. A lot of what goes on with Tami in this episode revolves around her notifying loved ones and relatives of her mother’s condition and making preparations for her mother’s journey to the afterlife.
She discusses hospice care with her daughters and tearfully details her fears and concerns over her mother’s last impression of her with a cousin.
Almost everyone is sympathetic, but that doesn’t mean Tami doesn’t make a little room for the petty side of her life too.
In a first for Tami, she confronts her longtime girlfriend Shaunie over her comments to Tasha. Tami apparently takes issue with Shaunie and Evelyn warning Tasha that her encounter with Tami could go really well or really wrong. In Tami’s mind, this is planting a bad seed. But in most people’s mind, it’s just a friend letting another friend know the real deal and what to expect.
Yes, it is a warning but it’s one that Tami deserves given her reputation. Tasha was likely already apprehensive about meeting Tami given her reputation so even if Evelyn and Shaunie hadn’t said anything, she likely would’ve been on her guard.
While the discussion in Central Park between Tami and Shaunie is tense but courteous, Shaunie takes a decidedly mocking tone when she recounts the confrontation to Evelyn. She mocks Tami’s neck roll and her slow hair twisting and everything.
Is this a sign of Shaunie and Tami’s rift to come? I don’t want to spoil it for you, but my guess is: Yes, indeed.