Tiana and Laura Try to Recreate the Rihanna/Karrueche Saga
I’m starting to feel really bad for Tiana (Serayah). She is by far the superior talent and beauty to Laura Calleros (Jamila Velazquez). But she has to continuously play second fiddle to Laura throughout this season and she’s been relegated to third tier status and given no basic plotline.
While Tiana was used in season 1 to good effect as the show re-created the toxic relationship that was Chris Brown and Rihanna, they’ve now moved to the Karrueche saga.
Like Laura, Karrueche was nowhere near the dynamo that Rihanna was. Karrueche was thinner, flatter and far more submissive. The only difference between Laura and Karrueche is the fact that K is Asian and Laura is Latina. Oh, and I suppose the fact that Laura “sings” and Karrueche doesn’t is also worth pointing out.
Needless to say, tensions between Tiana and Laura are boiling over while the two are out on the road. While Rihanna and Karrueche traded words and passive-aggressive tweets in real life, on Empire, Laura and Tiana confront one another in person and go at it.
It doesn’t come to blows between the two, but the fighting is bad enough that the press gets wind of it and Hakeem is forced to insert himself in the situation to mediate the drama.
He negotiates more stage time for Laura in the smaller cities and he gets Laura to respect Tiana’s seniority and space. Hakeem seems to have done a solid job navigating the troubled waters, but Tiana walks by Laura’s dressing woman and catches Hakeem making out with Laura. And, judging by the dramatic music and raised eyebrow she gives, she is not pleased.
Hakeem puts a bow on the peace accord he’s crafted by taking the stage with Tiana and Laura in some real pimp-and-ho shit. The theatrics are impressive but the song the three of them perform isn’t. It’s a generic, trashy “pop dat ass fo’ me,” autotuned hip-hop track.
But throughout the performance, Tiana is sending eye daggers Laura’s way the entire time. Princess Pupusa doesn’t seem to realize it but Tiana is gonna cut her ass at any given moment, this is probably because’s she so focused on getting out every single one of her horribly stiff dances moves out.
The ante gets upped even more at the end of the episode when Hakeem is spurred to propose to Laura after his family implodes once again. He witnessed the closeness and support Laura enjoyed from her father when he visited her on tour and he tells Laura he wants to marry her and create his own family.
It’s kind of noble, but a bit unbelievable for the Hakeem character. He’s been a womanizing jerk for 90 percent of this show, and now, all of a sudden, he’s developed a heart and he’s gonna settle down? Perhaps the tamed wolf isn’t Cookie, but Hakeem.
Jamal and Freda Gatz Let the Sunshine In
One of the subplots explored this episode, to an explosive reveal (for Cookie at least), is around Freda Gatz. The butch lesbian from the wrong side of the tracks is loyal to Lucious Lyon to the end. She credits him with looking out for her best interests. Unfortunately, she has no idea that Lucious is the man who actually killed her father, Frank Gathers (Chris Rock).
Jamal and Hakeem are eager to stick it to their dad in whatever way they can so they hit up the hood to link up with Freda to see if she’ll record with them. In one of the more awkward set-ups of this show, Jamal and Hakeem end up having an impromptu jam session with the street rats while they ask for Freda’s whereabouts.
The moment is supposed to come off as Jamal and Hakeem connecting with the regular folks, but instead it comes off more like a bad Pepsi commercial that awkwardly channels Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” video.
Freda does eventually pop up and she lets the Lyon brothers know that she is not interested in embarrassing Lucious by recording a song with them just so they can get back at their daddy. Lucious has had her back so she’s going to have his, she says.
That remains true until Freda shows up to the set of the “Boom Boom Boom” video only to learn that her verse from the song has been cut and she’s no longer needed in the video.
Faster than you can say, “Drip, drop, drip-drippity drop,” Freda pops up at Jamal’s studio with a completely different attitude. She’s now ready to cut a track.
The song the two end up producing together, “Shine on Me,” is actually one of the strongest tracks to emerge from Empire in a while. It marries a street sound with pop sensibilities seamlessly. Who knew putting butch Freda and delicate Jamal together could produce such beautiful music?
After a great initial take, Freda returns to the studio to polish off the track before it’s finalized. Cookie is in the studio with Jamal and Hakeem and she welcomes the surprise guest at first. But then Freda spits: “Frank Gathers, this your daughter / Everybody know it / I can light this here spliff, let everybody blow it.”
Upon hearing the name Frank Gathers, Cookie’s face turns Caitlyn Jenner-white and she freezes up. She meekly asks Freda if she heard correctly that Frank Gathers is her father. After Freda once again confirms she is indeed his daughter, poor Cookie excuses herself from the studio and damn near does a wall slide.
Just when you thought it was over, here comes that whole Frank Gathers mess again, which kicked the second season off last year. Let’s hope it doesn’t mean Chris Rock returns in flashback scenes. Sitting through his performance as Frank Gathers was painful enough the first time. No need to relive that awfulness again.
