Don’t sleep on that old goat Jackie Christie. Laura Govan was yucking it up with all them bitches for the first few episodes, but in true Jackie fashion, Mrs. Christie has succeeded in turning everyone against Laura.


Truth be told, it’s hard to know which woman is more villainous, between Jackie or Laura. Both women have proven to be ruthless, deceptive and misleading. In fact, if they weren’t so self-serving, they’d probably make wonderful double agents in the CIA.

However, at this point, we might just have to go with Laura as being the meaner of the two, cause this ol’ Skeletor lookin’ broad is runnin’ around trying to fuck around with Jackie’s kids. Now Jackie Christie deserves a lot of things, but if you have evil intentions, there’s no need to go after the young.

Unfortunately, Chantel (aka Channy) doesn’t know any better. So against her mother’s advice, Channy runs off and meets with Laura the Snake to spill all of her family business. Baby, no.

As Laura grins her Joker smile, Channy explains how Jackie pitted her against her darker, fatter sister and says that her mother is fame-hungry, phony and conniving. In fact, she talked about her mother like she was a flea-ridden dog. Hot damn. Jackie must’ve REALLY fucked up to have her own daughter selling her out so cheaply to Laura fucking Govan.

Hot mess mothers like Mama Jones get more respect from their children than Channy is showing to her mother.

After lapping up all of the good dirt, Laura saunters off with Channy knowing that her covert mission has been successful. Now, she just needs to find the right opportunity to throw this humiliating tidbit right back in Jackie’s face.

But let’s get back to Jackie’s successful comeback campaign.

Jackie Makes It All Good

Unlike any of the other women on the show, Brooke actually threw down with Jackie Christie and snatched her weave in the last episode. Once Jackie saw that Brooke was the real deal, she tried to back down but it was way too late. So now, here Jackie comes groveling for forgiveness.

Brooke naively buys into Jackie’s phony act and before you know it, the two of them have decided to gang up on Laura Govan. Damn, it takes a real scoundrel to turn an enemy into an ally within such a short timespan.

Soon after, Bambi approaches Brooke about her feelings about Laura’s spiteful behavior and boom, yet another alliance is formed. There’s just one more piece of the puzzle at this point, and Malaysia makes the connection happen as she arranges for Jackie and Draya to meet on the floor at her roller rink party. Against her better judgement, Draya decides to forgive Jackie and contemplates Mrs. Christie’s offer to walk down the runway at her show during Fashion Week in NY.

Laura, your fate has now been sealed. With every girl solidly behind her, Jackie launches her attack as she has Brooke and the girls confront Laura about her scheming ways.

The formerly thick woman plays coy and tells the girls that her fake behavior toward Jackie has nothing to do with them, but that line of reasoning doesn’t really hold up and before Laura knows it, she’s basically run out of Malaysia’s party by the girls.

Do you see God? He quickly turned Jackie from the reviled to the redeemed. Laura better watch the throne, cause Jackie Christie don’t play dat.

Laura Licks Her Wounds

After getting her ass handed to her by the gals, Laura remembers that she has a sister to call up and bitch to. Even though she doesn’t bother to show her sister the same support when her life goes to shit, like when her husband was recently arrested. But hey, bygones are bygones and stuff.

So Laura meets up with her younger sis and she goes over the juicy meeting she had with Jackie’s daughter and debriefs her on the showdown that happened at Malaysia’s birthday party. Once Gloria has been properly indoctrinated, she goes out into the field to push the new agenda.

Gloria starts with Draya, who she meets up with to discuss the issue at hand. Draya attempts to plead to Gloria’s moral sensibilities but Gloria ain’t hearing it. She tells Draya that if Jackie has a problem with the way Laura is treating her than she needs to take it up with Laura, not the girls.

At this point, Draya realizes she’s dealing with a chimera of stupidity and moral corruption, so she writes Gloria off along with her sister. There’s just no saving some folks from themselves. And when Draya, a woman who’s been accused of criminally neglecting her own son, starts passing moral judgement on you, you know you’re doing some dirty, foul shit.

It’s amazing, but only Laura has done what Jackie herself couldn’t do: Make Mrs. Christie into someone to be rooted for.

Shaunie O’Neal is somewhere sitting on an expensive couch going: I told y’all them Govan bitches was bad news.

Be the first to receive breaking news alerts and more stories like this by subscribing to our mailing list.