Jackie Christie has been dancing with wolves all season long on “Basketball Wives L.A.” but in this episode, one of the she-wolves decided showed bare her teeth. Jackie’s bark was real loud but once Brooke got all up in that grill, Jackie Christie’s voice got real quiet and she was backpedaling like her name was Lance Armstrong.
You see, Jackie talks a big game. Yes, she’s quick to throw on a pair of sneakers and act like she’s gonna put hands on somebody, but when push comes to shove, Jackie knows she’s not built for that kind of scrapping.
So when things got ugly with the girls over at Laura’s mixology bullshit or whatever fake job they had to line up for her to make it look like she earns her own money for a living, Jackie had to figure out her game plan real quick.
Unfortunately, Jackie didn’t think fast enough because toward the end of the episode, Jackie’s weave ended up damn near snatched and her pink headband was all twisted up.
How Jackie and Brooke Got Caught Up
It’s no secret that Jackie can have a slick mouth. But who knew that big booty Brooke was a damn street fighter?
In Brooke’s defense, she kind of had a rough day before Jackie got on her bad side. You see, Malaysia and Bambi’s tomfoolery got Brooke’s blood pressure up right before Jackie stepped into the picture.
Brooke was tired of all the gossiping and sniping behind her back, so she confronted Malaysia about the snarky conversation they had when she invited Malaysia to her birthday party.
Brooke didn’t like the fact that Malaysia was playing games by asking if Brooke’s “boyfriend” was going to be there. She also tried it by bringing Bambi to the party, knowing damn well that they got beef.
Malaysia claims that she only wanted to broker peace, but we all know that’s bullshit because she said from the jump that she was sideeyeing Brooke and holding it down for Team Bambi from the jump.
So when Malaysia says she didn’t mean to insult Brooke, she’s fibbing cause she and Bambi were yucking it up when Brooke called to invite her in the first place. We seen the footage, so there’s no reason to lie.
So when Brooke confronts Malaysia at Laura’s thing, she pushes but walks it back a bit once voices start getting raised. Perhaps she sensed that a two-on-one battle wouldn’t go down so nicely because Brooke says that she believes Malaysia is sincere and hugs it out.
After that peace is brokered, in walks trouble.
Yes, that is Draya dressed as Jackie. Give the girl credit, it’s not Halloween yet but she pulled off one hell of a costume.
The wet’n’wavy wig and the long fingernails like Coko from SWV were the best. But Jackie, as you can see from the photo above, was NOT AMUSED.
So she promptly got up and announced that she was going to dress as Draya.
Which apparently means she’s going to show off her flabby, middle-aged figure in her Body Magic. Good grief. We weren’t ready for Jackie’s jelly.
Laura and her white bar tender friend for SURE, weren’t ready for Jackie’s jelly.
Yeah. Too much.
So Jackie and Draya go back and forth, trading insults and then Jackie whips out a bottle of pepper spray. This immediately sets Brooke off as she’s like, “WTF? You ain’t gonna get no pepper spray up in my face!” Jackie pretty much says, “Yes, I will. Deal with it, bitch.”
From that point on, it’s on like Donkey Kong. Brooke gets in Jackie’s face as the two argue about whether Brooke would step in if Jackie and Draya got into a fight.
Brooke says she would “peel” Jackie off of Draya and Jackie denies Brooke can back up her claims. As we saw in the end result above, Jackie picked the wrong one to mess with. Hot damn.
The lamest part about all of this though was the unwarranted censorship by VH1. As a result of the fallout over the violence from BBW star Evelyn Lozada, BBWLA’s producers took a heavy hand in editing the fight between Brooke and Jackie.
That means we didn’t see any of the blows land actually land and all we got was a split-second shot of the aftermath, with Brooke’s shirt torn and Jackie’s wig shifted.
WTF? You can’t decide to grow a moral conscience in the middle of the damn season. Either show the dirty reality TV goods or just cancel the damn show. This is not fucking Masterpeice Theater. We ‘re here to see hoodrats do hoodrat shit, so please, VH1, don’t try to civilize these bad girls.
Bambi Bites Back
After playing it cool in the background for much of the season, Bambi really starts to step out with the girls in this episode. First, she finally hashes things out with Brooke about the whole ex-boyfriend thing.
To be honest, it was rather anticlimactic and not worth following.
But an encounter that was worth documenting is the spat between Bambi and Laura in the park. Apparently, in Compton, inviting someone to the park is akin to booking a boxing match.
And Bambi came ready to spar. Laura shied away from direct conflict but Bambi didn’t take to Laura’s feigned timidness too well.
Bambi, who apparently feels close to Jackie, feels that Laura is untrustworthy because she’s clearly stringing Jackie along. Ok, she’s right, but why on earth does Bambi feel so inclined to protect Jackie from her enemeies?
She’s just a crazy old woman with way too much time on her hands. If Jackie DIDN’T like the abuse that she suffers at the hands of Laura, she wouldn’t keep coming back for more. So she needs to butt out.
Bambi’s real talent lies in her hair game anyway. This episode she blew us away with her soft, feathered Farrah Fawcett locks and later transitioning to her sistah-girl Poectic Justice braids in the next scene.
Who’s paying Bambi’s wig bill for real? These don’t look cheap at all. Kim Zolciak from Real Housewives of Atlanta would probably scoop up one of these.
The other fun thing about Bambi: When she wasn’t fighting with women, she was busy making out with them.
Malaysia and Bambi met up with Draya for drinks to talk about, who else? Jackie. But things got steamy when Malaysia dared the two part-time bisexuals to give each other a kiss. What resulted seemed like the start of a bad black porno, but let’s be real: We couldn’t change the channel either.
Draya sure knows how to make friends. Now if she just made out with Jackie, we’re pretty sure be a-ok too.