The sick and twisted love triangle that is Mimi, Joseline and Stevie J took yet another wild turn at the end of episode 8 on “Love and Hip Hop Atlanta” when Joseline decided to transform into Mike Tyson and started boxing the hell out of Stevie J’s rat head. The producers could hardly tear her french manicured tips from his rat hide.
This whole mess went down because Stevie had the bright idea of inviting his jump-off (Joseline) and his baby mama (Mimi) together for a joint therapy session.
Given Joseline’s proclivity for throwing bows, as we saw when she tried to bust Erica and Lil’ Scrappy’s heads wide open in the parking lot, you’d think Stevie would know better. Then again, this is Stevie J we’re talking about.
So when Mimi sternly told Joseline that she was in fact still living with Stevie, Joseline La Furiousa came unhinged because “Steebie” had just been at her house two days ago asking for a ride on her choo choo train.
Mimi foresaw the shit storm that was about to ensue, so she just sat her happy ass down, leaned to the left out of harm’s way and waited for the fireworks and they sure didn’t disappoint.
Boom, boom, boom, gotta get, get / Boom, boom, boom, gotta get, get
The episode ended on that very Jerry Springer note but we all know that even though Stevie’s pride and right cheek are still stinging, that won’t stop him from going right back for Joseline’s cherry cherry boom boom in a few days.
That round of slap boxing was just foreplay for them.
Rasheeda Strikes Out with Aunt Deb
The only person who flip-flops more than Rasheeda is Mitt Romney.
Last episode, this floppin’ ol’ never-was ran with her tail between her legs to Deb Antney, begging Waka’s mom to help revitalize her stagnant career. Aunt Deb, rocking her freshest Tweety bird mushroom cut, gave Rasheeda the mean, clean truth: D-Lo, aka Kirk, has got to go.
When Rasheeda was in that room with Deb before, she agreed wholeheartedly and burst into tears. In the confessional portions, she even said that “she didn’t want to admit that Kirk may have been the problem.”
But when Rasheeda brings Kirk in to meet with Deb in episode 8, she feeds him to the slaughter and THEN tries to act like she didn’t know what was gonna happen when they walked in there.
For once, we’re Team Kirk here.
All Rasheeda can do is repeat “we need to move forward” ad nauseum, but what does moving forward even mean?! After 20 years, how the hell has Rasheeda NOT figured out how to move her own career forward?
Is Kirk really the problem or is it Rasheeda? Cause she’s starting to smell like the spoiled milk here, not him.
In the end, sensing that no matter what he does he’ll blamed for Rasheeda’s failures, Kirk tells Rasheeda that she’s free to do whatever she wants to do, which includes being managed by Deb.
Who wants to bet a Popeye’s two-piece and biscuit that Rasheeda won’t make the move to Deb’s team and that even if she did, she’d still flop?
Sloppy Shay Stirs the Pot
For some strange reason, Lil’ Scrappy has still got a hold on a Erica.
Wasn’t Erica just talking about how she didn’t want Scrappy in and out of her life last episode? So why is she so devastated to find out that Shay, formerly of Flavor of Love, is messing with her ex?
And the gossipy hens of Love and Hip Hop Atlanta couldn’t wait to runteldat with Erica either. The biggest bird of them all, K. Michelle, was positively APPALLED when she saw Shay walk into Scrappy’s mixtape release party with him.
K. Michelle is so concerned with what everyone and their man is up to, but she can’t even get a second date or a Facebook relationship status update.
How does that work?
Feeling like Captain Save-a-Ho, K. Michelle calls Erica up for a lunch date for the dramatic reveal the next day.
And being who she is, K. Michelle doesn’t bother to sugarcoat the scenario at all: Gurl, Shay got yo’ man.
This, causes Erica to crumble, tear up and sniffle, as she bemoans the fact that Scrappy is choosing other women over her and his daughter. (Duh! Did she think she had Bill Cosby for a baby daddy?)
And poor Shay. Scrappy is running around telling everyone that Shay is just his friend, his homie.
What the hell kind of “homie” massages sunblock all over your ass? And all of those sweet nothings she be whispering in his ear and all of those come hither looks are supposed to be platonic?
If Scrappy wants people to believe that Shay is nothing more than a friend, he’s gonna need to put the fire out in between her legs, cause her sex is pretty much on fire for him.
Karlie and Benzino Prove that Troll Love Is Real
They say there’s someone for everyone and it would appear that Karlie Redd has found her fraudulent other half with Benzino.
The former hip hop media mogul has been attempting to wine and dine Karlie ever since they met in that dingy studio parking lot. And being the cheap piece of meat that she is, Karlie has been soaking up all of the gifts and attention like a dry sponge dropped in Lake Michigan.
After letting her manager Malcolm shamelessly shade her new boo, Zino, Karlie has now done a 180 and appears to be completely starstruck because he’s doing things for her.
“See that, Malcolm?!” Karlie keeps saying. Why is she trying to prove her boyfriend’s worth to everyone else if she really feels him?
It’s cause their “love” is based on nothing more than what they can do for each other.
He introduces her to his industry friends and hooks her up with photo shoots for his ghetto version of US Weekly while she massages the hunch in his back and kisses his Keebler Elf down below. It’s a win-win situation.
Of course, this being reality TV, and these people being largely horrible actors, we all know that the Karlie and Benzino romance is nothing but a facade. It’s a means to an end and the seams will quickly unravel on this bad romance.
But for now, we have to put up with ridiculous scenes like when Benzino, the mutant dwarf, hops on his motorcycle to go engagement ring shopping at a cigar shop.
How bizarre! Has this bamma never heard of Kay Jewelers?
Later, during a “boys” moment with Stevie J, Benzino confesses that he went and bought Karlie an engagement ring.
Stevie smiles his sneaky smile and congratulates his pal on the possible nuptials. Benzino then strangely tells Stevie that he’d of course ask him to be his best man.
Wait, isn’t asking Stevie J to be your best man kind of like asking Aretha Franklin to be your personal trainer?
You’re in for nothing but trouble either way.
Mimi’s Mama Woes
One of the more touching moments of the episode centered around Mimi’s farewell to her mother.
As Mimi revealed to us in episode 7, her mother essentially abandoned her for Scientology at the age of 13. However, Mimi made a promise to her mother that she’d spread her mother’s ashes in the river after she died.
Why Mimi waited all these years until she was on reality TV to do this, we don’t know. But far be it from us to cast aspersions on the motivations of a woman using her dead mother for a plot line.
Aside from the tears Mimi shed as she forgave her mother for leaving her to own devices, the highlight of this whole segment is Mimi’s extremely afrocentric brother, Kwesi.
Dressed from head to toe like it was the first day of Kwanzaa, Kwesi (you know that’s not his birth name), was giving us that dashiki realness. His dreads of peace and his power kente hat were so black power we wanted to call out, “I’m black and I’m proud!”
It’s nice to know that at least somebody on this show has some sense of culture and dignity.