A gorilla suffered a surprise attack at the hands of an angry banana outside a wireless phone store in Strongville, OH over the weekend.

“I noticed a kid in the bushes. Then he just emerged, dressed up as a banana, and sprinted as fast as he could at our gorilla,” manager Brandon Parham told reporters. “The kid was in mid-air, flying. He just looked like a Spartan from that movie 300, except he was a banana.”

Police say the banana “split” (ha!) and ran away from the scene. Parham says his gorilla will be okay.

“This is just bizarre. It’s really not normal of the food chain. That’s not really how this works. The gorilla should have won,” said Parham.

You’re damn right Mr. Brandon Parham. The gorilla SHOULD have won …. BUT HE DIDN’T! And that’s what makes this story HILARIOUS!!! (LMAO)


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