 
We here at Think2wice love to make fun of people who deserve it, and unfortunately Paris Hilton is the target this time around! For those of you who don’t know, she has roughly 24 hours from the submission of this post ’til she has to turn herself in to a Los Angeles penitentiary. I know the paparazzi are gonna be working triple overtime to get the last few snapshots of the racist crack-whore before she loses access to the outside world for a mere 23 days (should be longer, but hey … who am I to “judge” ??). But we’ll expound upon that later on… Right now, we’re focusing on the headlines that have come up over the past week about her going to jail. Go on, laugh with us! You know you want to….
SOME INMATES AT LA COUNTY JAIL ARE ANGRY OVER POSSIBLE ARRIVAL OF PARIS HILTON
Many women at the Los Angeles County jail where Paris Hilton is expected to arrive any day are already angry at the socialite, a former inmate said. Susannah Johnson, who was released Saturday after a one-day stay at the jail, said inmates were angry at Hilton, believing officials were making room for the starlet at the expense of other inmates already coping with crowded conditions in the 2,200-bed jail. ”The only advice I could give her when she comes is to shut her mouth and do the time,” said Johnson, 35, of Claremont. Hilton has been ordered to turn herself in by Tuesday to begin her sentence for violating probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case. Some 15 photographers, reporters and television crews staked out positions at three entrances to the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood. Authorities had also cordoned off a grassy area outside the jail for members of the media.
”Today, Paris is the story,” said Robert Penfold, a TV reporter with Australia’s Nine Network. As of Saturday night, however, the hotel heiress had yet to appear. By then, most of the media had packed up their folding chairs and tripods, though a handful of remaining reporters bundled up in the cooling temperatures. Adrian Sanchez, a photographer with Agencia Efe, a Spanish language wire service, said he was ”bored, hungry and cold.” The 13-year-old jail, five miles south of downtown Los Angeles, has been an all-female facility since March 2006. The two-story concrete building sits in an industrial neighborhood, beside train tracks and beneath a bustling freeway.
Though a judge sentenced her to 45 days behind bars, Hilton is expected to serve only 23 days because of a state law that requires shorter sentences for good behavior, sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore said. Once she arrives, the ”Simple Life” star will be housed in the jail’s ”special needs” unit. Like other inmates in the special-needs area, Hilton will take her meals in her cell and will be allowed outside the 12-foot-by-8-foot space for at least an hour each day to shower, watch TV in the day room, participate in outdoor recreation or talk on the telephone. Inmates are not allowed to bring cell phones into the jail. Besides a decidedly unglamorous orange jumpsuit, inmates are issued a standard-issue kit that includes: a toothbrush, tube of toothpaste, soap, a comb, deodorant, shampoo and shaving implements, along with a jail-issued pencil, stationery, envelopes and stamps.
Officers arrested Hilton in Hollywood on Sept. 7. In January, she pleaded no contest to the reckless-driving charge and was sentenced to 36 months’ probation, alcohol education and $1,500 in fines. She was pulled over by the California Highway Patrol on Jan. 15. Officers informed Hilton she was driving on a suspended license and she signed a document acknowledging she was not to drive. She was pulled over again by sheriff’s deputies Feb. 27 and was charged with violating her probation.
RECORD LABEL DROPS PARIS HILTON
Prison-bound socialite Paris Hilton has been dropped by her record label after lackluster sales of debut pop album Paris failed to impress music execs. The 26-year-old, who is heading to jail next week for a 23-day stint after violating her probation following a 2006 drunk-driving arrest, is said to be devastated over the decision. The company is thought to be disappointed after investing $250,000 in a video for single Stars Are Blind – which reached number 18 in the U.S. Billboard Hot 100 charts – and a world promotional tour that brought in less that half a million record sales. Hilton’s second single Nothing In This World barely registered on the charts, reaching number 89 on the Billboard Hot 100 Pop Charts and the LP vanished after a brief appearance at number six in the Billboard album charts after selling 77,000 copies. A representative for Warner Brothers said, “We are not expecting any new Paris Hilton material in the foreseeable future.”
BRUCE WILLIS’ DAUGHTER EMPATHIZES WITH PARIS HILTON
Rumer Willis, the eldest daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, empathises with the plight of Paris Hilton as the socialite gets ready to begin her 23-day jail term. Hilton has to report to Los Angeles’ Century Regional Detention Center by June 5 to start serving her sentence for violating her probation following a 2006 drunk-driving arrest. And Rumer, 18, believes Hilton’s predicament is the result of growing up in the public eye. She tells website People.com, “I haven’t talked to her, but I wish her the best. I think there a lot of people that are supporting her. I think it’s definitely hard growing up in L.A. with all of the things that you have to deal with, and being so young. I think sometimes people don’t realize the amount of pressure that can come.”
SHERIFF WON’T ALLOW PARIS TO DO ANY TV INTERVIEWS WHILE IN JAIL
Sheriff Lee Baca said Friday that Paris Hilton will not be allowed to give television interviews while serving her jail sentence and that aggressive steps were being taken to prevent cameras from being smuggled into the facility. Hilton was ordered to begin her sentence by Tuesday at a county jail in Lynwood, about five miles south of Los Angeles. Baca told the Los Angeles Times that deputies and jail employees have been told to treat the 26-year-old heiress like any other inmate. ”Paying a debt to society should not be an element of her celebrity,” Baca said. ”Her occupation is publicity, but no one should profit in jail.” Hilton could report to jail before Tuesday, but as of Friday afternoon had not done so, said sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore. She may report at any time of day, said Whitmore. Hollywood photo agencies expect a photo of Hilton in jail would be worth big money.
”The reality is why don’t they just let her walk down the concrete carpet,” said Frank Griffin, co-owner of the Bauer-Griffin paparazzi agency, told the paper. ”This is going to be turned into an event like the Oscars.” Hilton was sentenced last month to 45 days for violating the terms of her probation in an alcohol-related reckless-driving case after repeatedly driving her car while her license was suspended. Sheriff’s officials have said she will serve about 23 days behind bars because of state rules allowing shorter sentences for good behavior. Baca said it was unclear whether Hilton will surrender at the court where she was sentenced or report straight to jail. He said authorities will not allow her to ”be seen in handcuffs … or in the back of a police car, forlorn and in handcuffs.” Once there, Hilton will go through the normal intake process, said Baca. That involves undergoing an interview by jail staff and evaluations for any medical or other needs. ”Jails are not circuses and not places where ‘fun’ is the priority,” Baca said. ”Jail should be a corrective learning experience.” The jail houses about 2,200 women, but officials have said Hilton will be kept away from the general population. Baca said no decision has been made about whether she’ll share a cell with anyone. Hilton will ”experience her incarceration as all other women will experience it,” said Baca. ”She won’t get better food, she won’t get different lockup time or a different environment.”
PARIS HILTON TO SHARE CELL WITH RECKLESS DRIVER
Paris Hilton will share her prison cell with a reckless driver during her 23-day jail sentence. The hotel heiress has to report to Los Angeles’ Century Regional Detention Center by June 5 to start serving her sentence for violating her probation following her 2006 drunk-driving arrest. According to TMZ.com, the prison has chosen a female cellmate whom they believe will not want to “cash in” on Hilton’s stay. Sources claim prison chiefs have already started searches of anything electronic and have sent a memo to staff warning them they face being fired if pictures of Hilton apear in the press. [quick step-in: Hmm, $1 million for a photo of paris in jail definitely outweighs getting fired! — DUSTIN]
