Momma Dee is a badass, head-bussin’, former pimpstress in her own right. But in episode two of “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta”, Momma Dee taps Dog the Bounty Hunter as her spirit animal for her business-in-the-front, party-in-the-back mullet. U can’t touch this.
Momma Dee is not a big fan of Erica Dixon, her son’s babymama and future daughter-in-law.
If you’ll recall, she accused Erica of “leaving her son to die” last season after Erica chucked up the two deuces to Scrappy’s lil’ asthma attack. And she encouraged her son to lock it down with Shay “Buckeey” Johnson all last season.
So when Scrappy went ahead and proposed to the wicked witch Erica, Momma Dee wanted to melt into a puddle of blue magic and frustration right then and there.
But Momma ain’t no fool. Although it pained her to see Scrappy back with Erica, she couldn’t risk alienating her son, so she tried her best to “support” the relationship.
Unfortunately, Momma Dee’s acting skills are about as good as her literacy skills. So Scrappy and Erica have seen right through the fakeness and raised eyebrows about Momma Dee’s behavior.
And she proved the nay saying right when she went and picked up Shay like she was her bitch and she was her madam.
Once Shay gets in the car, Momma Dee hatches a plan to drop Shay off at the recording studio where Scrappy. Then, she can zero in on him and make her move. Momma Dee might be evil, but she sure as hell ain’t no genius. If this is the best she’s got, no wonder Erica keeps outsmarting her.
So Momma Dee makes her way to the studio where Scrappy is recording and she starts bobbin’ her head to the jamz.
Once Scrappy steps out of the booth, the two catch up. Apparently, it’s been a while since they’ve seen each other.
But the mother-son chit chat is not the reason Momma Dee came by to see the so-called Prince of the South.
It’s all about giving Sloppy Shay closure.
Shay told Momma Dee that she was finna turn up on Scrappy’s ass but instead her pathetic ass went in there and bawled about how Scrappy hurt her feelings and shit.
Scrappy is a softie though and he told Shay that he never meant to hurt her, he just had to dedicate himself to his family and one true love.
Shay walks out the door but something tells me it won’t be the last time we see her.
Joseline Wants to See the Paperwork
Joseline and Stevie J roll around in bed and the conversation returns to a familiar place: How can I quit you, Joseline asks.
For the millionth time, Joseline informs Stevie that she wants to leave his “beefcake” alone and maintain a strictly professional relationship with him.
Stevie, who’s still licking the lady juices Joseline left on his moustache, laughs at Joseline’s claim and asserts that he, not she, determines the nature of their relationship.
Joseline is sick of dealing with the Mimi drama though and says that it’s bad energy she’d rather discard. Right. Isn’t that what she said at the end of the last season?
Later, Joseline meets with Dawn, her booking agent. Apparently Joseline has been making BANK doing nothing but hosting gigs and club appearances. Joseline is banking up to $40K a week. Dawn points out that the music is taking forever, which is true.
If Erica Mena can drop a song after LHHNY wrapped, where the hell is some legit music from Joseline?
Joseline agrees with Dawn and expresses frustration about the contract she signed with Stevie. She claims that she has NO idea what is in the contract because she signed it without taking it seriously. Actually, it’s more like she signed it without a penny to her a name and did whatever Stevie asked her to do because she was in a desperate situation.
Is it wrong for Stevie to take advantage of Joseline? Absolutely. But is Joseline acting brand new? Yep.
She was fine with the pimp and ho relationship she had with Stevie until the cameras came around. But now that she’s found stardom thanks to LHHA, now she wants to go back and rewrite history.
Guess what? Stevie don’t play that.
Stevie knows he wrote the most scandalous, rights-restricting agreement with Joseline since Tommy Mottola had Mariah Carey all hemmed up. But he ain’t about to let her know that.
Every time Joseline demands a copy of the contract, Stevie responds, “Why don’t you have it? You signed it.”
Negro, you know Joseline just learned English 12 months ago. She couldn’t read a lick of what was on that damn paper and you know it.
But somebody done schooled Joseline. She gets a leg up on Stevie by pointing out that she can’t pay him his 30 percent cut unless she knows what she’s paying him for. Begrudgingly, Stevie agrees to show her the contract.
This lil’ puta ain’t so foolish after all.
Stevie J’s Messes Catch Up to Him
You know who’s more pissed off with Stevie J and Mimi combined? Benzino.
Acting like a scorned lover, Benzino welcomes Stevie into his home and gives him a tongue lashing for bailing on him. That “band” these fools put together was apparently a serious project for Benzino and Stevie J went ahead and changed his phone number without telling Zino.
“You can’t keep doing this to people, man!” Benzino yelped in exasperation.
Sounds like what Benzino needs from his boy Stevie J is some understanding. And a hug. A big, tight, manly bear hug.
Initially, Stevie tries to weasel his way into crashing at Benzino’s place so he escape the wrath of Mimi, but Benzino doesn’t let him off the hook and orders him to fix things with Mimi.
So Stevie heads out and buys a bouquet of flowers to try and appease Mimi but by the time he gets to the house, Mimi is in full “Irreplaceable” mode, packing up and moving on.
Infuriated by Mimi’s decision to leave without his permission, Stevie wails on the producers.
But it’s too late. Mimi is gone for good. Or at least a few days. Y’all know these two don’t stay apart for long.
Meet Traci Steele
One of the new faces on this season of LHHA is Atlanta DJ Traci Steele. As a well-known DJ in the area, Traci brings some credibility to the show as she’s an active member of the hip-hop community and not an aspiring star like say, Rasheeda or Joseline.
In her introduction, Steele wraps up her radio show and we’re introduced to her son and her baby daddy, DJ Babey Drew. His claim to fame is his current gig as Chris Brown’s DJ. He gets the groupies that Chris kicks out of his bed, essentially.
Like pretty much every man who’s ever been on LHHA, Drew has been unfaithful in the past and Traci wears his past infidelities like it was a winter coat. Even though they’re no longer together officially, Traci is HEAVILY invested in Drew’s groupie activities because she doesn’t want them around her son.
Right. This is the same schtick Mimi tried to pull. Traci just wants Babey Drew to keep laying the pipe on her.
But Drew is more interested in tapping Traci’s bank account than that ass. He’s eager to go into business for himself and tells Traci that he wants to open a sneaker boutique in Atlanta. Has this fool never heard of e-commerce? He should start with a website before he throws money down the hole with a store.
He needs $25,000, and like a dummy, Traci is game as long as “groupies” aren’t involved in the store.
Given her penchant for labels like “groupie” and “whore,” I can’t wait to see how Traci mixes it up with Joseline, Shay and Karlie Redd. Cause thems fightin’ words.