“Real Housewives of Atlanta” Recap: Gone with the Wind Fabulous, Bitch!
We’re so glad that the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” ditched Kim Zolciak and brought Kenya Moore on board. We’ve replaced one delusional woman whose name starts with K for another and we have to say, this one is really an upgrade in the ratchet department.
The latest episode of RHOA continues with the couples’ vacation in Anguilla. As the couples spend more time with each other and get to know one another, everything seems to be on the right path for once.
Even Porsha and Kenya are being polite to one another. But that’s only because Kenya is acting like their clash back in Atlanta never happened.
When the girls are all sitting around sipping wine and chit chatting later, Porsha decides to rehash their clash and that’s when fireworks go off.
It started out nicely, with Porsha complimenting Kenya saying that she’s been quite pleasant on the trip. So much so that she seemed like a different person.
But once Porsha walked everyone through the uncomfortable night at her charity event, you could see the fire alarms going off in Kenya’s head. She was NOT here for it.
The thing that really got things heated was when Porsha honed in on Kenya’s 40-plus age. That’s when Kenya stood up, knucked and bucked, and showed Porsha her street side.
All kinds of “bitches” started falling from Kenya’s mouth, and Porsha put her wine glass down and hollered right back.
After NeNe and the girls successfully separated the two, Kenya continued to vent in the corner while the veteran ladies stood around and tried to counsel her.
But the distance didn’t prevent Kenya from continuing her rants. She shouted and hollered at Porsha about how FABULOUS she is even though she’s over 40.
But she didn’t just say it, she showed it with her very own catchphrase: GONE WITH THE WIND FABULOUS.
If that GIF isn’t enough for you, get into the actual video clip:
See, now you know that Kenya Moore is DEFINITELY “pedigreed,” as she put it. Cause homegirl knows what the hell will make for a good GIF.
She was completely playing that one up for the cameras and best believe she was quick to make #GoneWithTheWindFabulous a hashtag on Twitter.
— KENYA MOORE (@KenyaMoore) December 17, 2012
Needless to say, the Porsha/Kenya beef is definitely to be continued.
Walter and Kenya: Phony or Fake?
For viewers savvy enough to read blogs (like this one) the whole “Is Walter and Kenya’s relationship real or fake?” storyline is pretty much dead on arrival, since Walter already spilled the beans that it was, indeed, a staged romance.
Either NeNe Leakes really has a sixth sense about these things or someone tipped her off, cause she wasted NO TIME asking Kenya if she and Walter were in a real relationship.
Kenya feigned shock and disgust at the notion that she’d fake a relationship. NeNe, however, didn’t let up and she didn’t spare any opportunity to let Kenya know that she didn’t feel like they were a “real couple.”
Kenya tried to clap back at NeNe to say that she needed to mind her business, which is patently preposterous coming from a woman who was just bumping and grinding on another man’s husband a few scenes ago.
If Kenya Moore stayed out of other people’s marriage like she’s insisting NeNe do, then her shameless flirtations with Apollo and Peter would’ve never gone down.
The most painful/hilarious part of the Kenya/Walter relationship this episode is when Walter pulls Kenya aside to tell her a secret.
Kenya is all giddy, thinking he’s going to propose to her. But all he does is let her know that Peter plans on renewing his vows with Cynthia.
Kenya’s face looked like a kid who just found out Santa Claus doesn’t really exist. If it wasn’t so hilariously pitiful, you’d almost feel sorry for her.
Cynthia and Peter Get Married Again
Cynthia and Peter’s wedding in Atlanta was a beautiful nightmare. It served as the season finale but it also stretched the couple’s thin bank accounts in every way. These fools couldn’t even cover the open bar tab, remember?
So this vacation in Anguilla was the perfect time, in Peter’s eyes, for Cynthia and he to renew their vows without any meddling from Cynthia’s mother and sister.
Now call us crazy, but isn’t Peter being a bit spiteful by dragging this whole thing out with Cynthia’s family? Shouldn’t he be trying to heal wounds instead of pouring more salt in them? Well, even if he is, Cynthia doesn’t say a damn thing.
In a bid to show how romantical he can be, Peter rallies all of the guys for a mens’ meeting to give them the scoop on his plans.
He plans on surprising Cynthia with a vow renewal and he enlists their support and help to keep the whole thing quiet.
Gregg rudely and brusquely offers Peter the two Viagra pills that he brought with him. Peter, rightfully, retorts that he doesn’t need it. Peter is old, but he’s not THAT old, Gregg. You keep ‘em, bruh.
So the ladies cook up this story about some prime minister’s white party, which is the perfect excuse for Cynthia to wear a white dress.
As the ladies approach the island, Cynthia sharply notes that she sees a man in a white suit. But she still doesn’t get it that the man in the suit is waiting for her.
When a bouquet of flowers is shoved in her hands and she sees Peter standing at a makeshift altar, she STILL asks him why she was handed a bouquet of flowers.
C’mon now, Cynthia, put two and two together. Man in suit, friends in chairs, an aisle, white dress, bouquet … It ain’t nobody’s funeral, so it must be a wedding!
Anyway, the whole thing was very sweet and spiritual and it really did seem like the ceremony they always wanted since they weren’t broke this time and Cynthia’s family wasn’t side-eyeing from the sidelines.
Cynthia and Peter thoughtfully found a way to include the couples too, by having each couple light wish lanterns and throw them in the sky.
NeNe and Gregg’s lantern soared, as did Cynthia and Peter’s. But um, Todd and Kandi’s crashed and burned and Kenya and Walter’s barely got off the ground before it hit the sand.
That’s an omen if we ever saw one.