R&B singer Fantasia Barrino‘s highly anticipated VH1 Behind the Music television special airs tonight at 9 pm, and video footage of the American Idol winner talking about her recent suicide attempt on the TV special has been released!

In the clip, a noticeably emotional Fantasia talks about what pushed her over the edge and caused her to down an entire bottle of pills in an attempt to take her own life, adding that she knew “exactly” what she was doing.

Check out the video footage from tonight’s edition of VH1’s Behind the Music featuring Fantasia below:

Meanwhile, Fantasia’s third studio album Back to Me is in stores today.

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