Kenya Moore has burned a lot of bridges with her castmates since she joined the “Real Housewives of Atlanta” last season, but she’s also been busy setting fire to the relationships of her non-televised friends as well.
At one point, the landlord of her home, Conya Dillon, was an associate of Kenya’s. She even accompanied Kenya to that ill-fated event that Porsha threw where Kenya and Mrs. Stewart first met and clashed.
But the relationship between Kenya and Conya went sour like an expired box of milk and Conya began trying to evict Kenya, accusing her of not paying her rent. Kenya ultimately prevailed in court, but she still has to move out since her lease is up any damn way.
So the cameras catch up with Kenya and her ever-present assistant Brandon as they pack Kenya’s belongings up. Her cousin/friend Che shows up as well to join in on the fun.
Now I’m not tryna throw too much shade, but why the hell was Kenya renting that big ass house when she’s a single woman with no children?
Seriously, that’s the Chateau Sheree dream that Sheree was working on. Kenya knows damn well she didn’t need all that house.
And judging by the level of packing she’s doing, it doesn’t look like she ever filled it with much either. That’s why, while she’s unpacking, she finds time to “twerk” on furniture in the house as a way of sticking it to Conya.
Is this like how a dog with full anal glands will rub its ass on everything to mark its territory? I dunno, this whole thing was just odd.
As if the twerking on the cabinets and the piano wasn’t bizarre enough, Kenya stumbles across Conya’s wedding gown and decides, “HEY! Why don’t I put this on?” She and Brandon do that ridiculous twerking thing again.
Even Che, her cousin, calls Kenya out for the bizarre behavior and tells her “you have emotional problems.” Girl, that’s like saying Lil’ Kim has self-image issues. We’re past flirting with a diagnosis at this point.
While Kenya and her friends are twerking and playing dress-up, Kenya’s former landlord/friend Conya is on the street, calling the police to boot them out of her house.
Conya is THROUGH with Kenya’s ass and she wants that chocolate roach out of her house. Conya claims the deadline for Kenya to vacate the premises was 3 pm. Kenya claims it was 5 pm.
The funniest part of the whole Conya confrontation is when the producers play the audio of the 911 call. Conya is asked to describe Kenya and she says, “black, tall, medium build. With lots of weave, contacts and implants.”
What on earth? That description ain’t gonna help nobody. She might as well have said “a black Pam Anderson.” The 911 operator professionally quickly thanked Conya for her description and kept it moving though. I’m sure she had a good laugh after she hung up.
Despite all of Conya’s stuntin’ with the cops, Kenya packs up her belongings and exits without incident. I’m sure her next landlord can’t wait to receive the Kenya infestation.
Porsha’s Pity Party Continues
Are you tired of Porsha crying about Kordell Stewart? If so, too bad. That’s her entire storyline this season so get ready for more tearful scenes and bitter monologues.
In this episode, Porsha receives her items from the house she shared with Kordell. He decided he didn’t want to see her horse face anymore so he had her stuff packed up and sent to her mama’s. In describing Kordell’s actions, Porsha, Laruen and her mother again refer to him in emasculating terms and take jabs at his alleged homosexuality.
When some of the items, like Porsha’s old wedding dress, are carelessly packed, Porsha goes off and says that he’s acting like a “queen” and that he wants to show her “woman-to-woman” that he doesn’t care about their relationship.
While Porsha MIGHT think she’s scoring jabs on Kordell, she’s really beating herself up too. If she has all these things to say about Kordell’s sexuality NOW, what the hell was her motivation in marrying him and why did she marry a man whose sexuality she was suspicious of? Was it cause she’s a golddigger?
Anyway, at some point, Kandi comes over to check on Porsha and they talk about the ongoing friction between the two. Porsha has her “I’m strong but I’m vulnerable” moment and she breaks down while Kandi holds her. The only thing missing was a song from the soundtrack of “Waiting to Exhale”, to be honest.
Sistagirl, come on. It was nice of Kandi to play therapist though.
While sorting through Porsha’s items, the two stumble across Kandi’s sex toy collection, which she gifted to Porsha last season. Apparently, the anal beads are missing from the collection and Porsha SWEARS she never even opened the box. Kandi and Porsha collapse in laughter, accusing Kordell of stealing the beads.
Kordell clearly must have pissed the producers off by skipping the reunion last season because they are giving EVERY nasty, mean-spirited comment about him airtime. Poor guy.
Cynthia Goes Under the Knife
As we learned in the previous episode, Cynthia has fibroids that have grown so bad that she looks like she’s pregnant. Her periods have also become so burdensome that she’s uninterested in sex for long stretches of time.
Thankfully, if she has her fibroids removed, everything should go back to normal. This entire scenario isn’t very eventful, but it was nice to see Peter and Cynthia spend some quality time and show genuine dedication to one another. It was also hilarious when the nurse asked Cynthia if she’d shaved her “groin area.”
Cynthia’s eyes damn near popped out of her head as she replied that she’d kept it trim but didn’t have a bald eagle going on down there.
NeNe the Homemaker
NeNe thought she had it made once she landed her gig with “The New Normal”, but she has quickly since learned that Hollywood success can be quite fleeting, since the series has now been cancelled and she’s back in Atlanta, hanging with the ol’ crew.
Gregg is as pleased as a cat in a tuna factory about NeNe being homebound. First off, it puts her back on his level, since she’s no longer rollin’ in dough like she was before. Secondly, it gives him the chance to get her back to housewife duties.
Unfortunately, NeNe is not on board with Gregg’s plans to have NeNe roll up her sleeves and get to work. She bitterly complains that she won’t help him clean the house and grumbles about being a “20th Century” housewife. Ma’m, we’re in the 21st century but nice try.
The reality is that NeNe Leakes got her TV roles because she was Ryan Murphy’s token. She has not been, nor will she ever be, cast in a non-Ryan Murphy scripted show. So she should view her TV stint as a highlight in her career and get back to reality. Cause that Hollywood life probably ain’t comin’ back. It’s reality TV or nothin’, boo.
Phaedra Has Issues with Her Husband and the Help
Phaedra isn’t getting as much shine as she has in past seasons, but that might be a good thing since tensions in her house seem extremely high this season.
She is clearly on Apollo’s last nerve as he snaps at her in scene after scene. While Phaedra is busy readying her babies for a photo shoot with Robert Ector, Apollo grumbles about the whole shoot being “sprung” on him last minute. The cameras catch audio of the couple fighting about it behind closed doors.
Once Apollo makes his appearance, their newborn baby, Dylan, aka Mr. President, starts squealing for food. Phaedra asks her hairdresser to grab her pumped breastmilk out of the bottle, heat it up and bring it to her. Oh, also rinse the top off.
Why does this fool dump out the breastmilk and bring Phaedra an empty bottle? What the hell is an empty bottle gonna do for a screaming, hungry baby?
Phaedra shoudl’ve known better than to trust her hairstylist with her nanny duties anyway. And furthermore, what kind of auntie/hairstylist does she have working for her any damn way?
This woman is walking around with a comb jammed in her hair like a country-ass fool. Does she not realize she’s on national television?
Well, at least she got some gorgeous photos of her babies out of this whole ordeal.