In truly disturbing news, Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen — two of the world’s most fucked up individuals — are shown in bed together in a new clip.
The new footage is from the forthcoming turkey of a movie “Scary Movie 5.” It shows the “Anger Management” star and the rehab hopping jailbird gearing up to make a sex tape (I think?) before Lohan’s “sobriety monitor” goes off and the two are attacked by paranormal forces.
Lohan screams at the sight of her own miserable existence being broadcast on TV and Sheen’s crotch is repeatedly slammed into a door. As this is happening, the actor proclaims, “I’ve come back from worse than this.” He’s probably talking about the movie.
So there’s a few things I just have to address after watching this:
First off, what is with the creepy oversexualized pairing of these two? Charlie Sheen is 47 and Lindsay Lohan is 26. Sure, Sheen’s probably been with his fair share of underage prostitutes but dude … be discreet about your pervy ways.
Second, are these two so pleased with themselves that they think being screw-ups is something to laugh about? Is there something funny about Lohan repeatedly driving while intoxicated and endangering the lives of innocent bystanders? Is Sheen losing a coveted TV gig that most actors would kill for and going bat shit nuts something audiences will chuckle at?
And don’t get me started on the unfunny mess that “Scary Movie 5” is going to be. I almost feel sorry for the Z-list cast that signed on to this garbage. (Two words: Katt. Williams.)
Based on the trailer, it looks like two fifth-graders huffed a few cans of whipped cream, slapped together a few fart jokes and called it a screenplay.
Oh and one more thing … the movie is basically is carbon copy of “A Haunted House,” which came out in January.
Find out if people pay to see the same crap twice when “Scary Movie 5” hits theaters on April 12.