So… this happened yesterday:

Welcome@ParisHilton to tha Family.RichgangRichgirl.YMCMB

— BIRDMAN (@BIRDMAN5STAR) May 22, 2013

@birdman5star Thanks BO$$! Happy to be apart of the family. #PH?YMCMB

— Paris Hilton (@ParisHilton) May 22, 2013

Well, as you can tell, Birdman totally fudged the Twitter announcement up because he didn’t properly put a space between “Welcome” and “@ParisHilton” … but regardless, we all got the point. And that ain’t fair, but they don’t care, Paris Hilton is a Cash Money millionaire.

I guess that cameo she had in Rich Gang’s “Tap Out” video makes a bit more sense now, but the fact that I was able to put together the sentence that precedes this one, and it’s actually the truth, makes no sense. At all. Not even a little bit.

According to HuffPo Entertainment:

Paris Hilton has signed with Cash Money Records and is working on a house music album that will supposedly be released this summer.

Hilton broke the news to Showbiz411 at a party in Cannes, where the heiress is because she’s an actress or filmmaker supporting “The Bling Ring,” a Sofia Coppola movie about the pretty girl crime syndicate that burglarized Hilton in real life. (The movie was filmed in part at Hilton’s home.)

Showbiz 411 says that Hilton will join Drake and Nicki Minaj, so it’s likely she’s actually signing with Young Money Entertainment, a subsidiary of Cash Money.

Hilton also claims Dutch house producer Afrojack is helping her out, an interesting tidbit given that the two were previously rumored to be dating. Hilton was a constant presence on his tour and in his “Afrojet,” but the producer is now said to be dating DJ Bambi.

“This is a lot different than my first album,” Paris said. “It’s really going to be house music.”

For the uninitiated (lucky you!), Paris Hilton’s first foray into the all too welcoming world of music came in 2006, when she released her debut solo self-titled album Paris, which reached the top 10 on the Billboard albums chart, but received mixed reviews.

Hilton also collaborated with Lil Wayne last year for an EDM (Electronic Dance Music) track produced by the aforementioned Afrojack called “Last Night (I Wanna Bang You).” It was (unsurprisingly) awful.

Nothing but good things — and herpes, lots and LOTS of herpes — can come from this meticulously planned union of Paris Hilton’s aural diarrhea and Birdman’s business savvy.

Meanwhile, your favorite struggle rapper is working overtime in the trap-house so he (or she; equal opportunity, people…) can earn enough money to pay for a post on WorldStarHipHop in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, their favorite rapper will notice them and take them under their wing, much like what YMCMB is doing with PH (imbalance).

I think it’s safe to say Hip-Hop is officially dead now. :(

R.I.P. Hip-Hop: 1970′s – May 22, 2013

It was fun while it lasted y’all…

Lately, there’s been lots and lots of chatter among gossip rags that Kanye West is skipping out on Kim Kardashian and snuggling up with a man — specifically fashion designer Riccardo Tisci. Why can’t a gay man and a straight fashionista be friends without fellatio getting in the way? But, of course, that won’t sell tabloids at the supermarket, now would it?

In any event, to help lend credence to the little theory, some are starting to point back to a past interview Riccardo gave to Vogue Paris. In it, Riccardo described one of his best sexual experiences with a well known man. Have you connected the dots already?

Great, now here’s the quote in question, Scooby:

“I have several but the one I think immediately is an experience I had with a man who is known. I never imagined that something could happen between us and it’s still the “hottest weekend of my life. Nobody really knows if this guy is straight or gay, it is a mystery. However, I was attracted to him, his way of speaking, thinking, walking, dressing. I love what he does as an artist. This weekend both, this intimate moment has only reinforced my attraction to him.”

We can confirm the thirst, but not so much the target of it with this interview. Try again.

“I did not go through all those years of hearing y’all whine about me not doing music for me to drop an album and you pretend it didn’t come out.” — I imagine that’s what Justin Timberlake wanted to say to the French reporter living under the mighty rock that kept him from realizing The 20/20 Experience is out, kicking ass, taking names, then kicking more ass and taking more names, and part two is due in the fall.

While being interviewed about his upcoming film, “Inside Llewyn Davis,” the foreign reporter, who is clearly out of touch with the rest of the free world, told Justin, “You have nothing to prove anymore in music, Justin. But I have a feeling that you are making some sacrifice in music just because you are so focused right now on your acting.”

To which Justin said in response, “I just put a record out, man!”

Even Justin’s co-star, Carey Mulligan jumped in. She didn’t say, “Oh, bitch you tried it!” but she did note that Justin’s album is a two-part deal that’s been talked about plenty.

Oh, it gets better…or worse, I should say (via Vulture)

“I put out a record that has a second part. That comes out this fall! Where have you been?” Timberlake kept going. “You gotta get out of Cannes, man. You gotta get out of Nice. You gotta get off your little island, man. As a matter of fact, I’m insulted. It’s very pretentious.” He then, of course, smiled, and squeezed the reporter’s arm.

Bad move, as the French reporter kept going, to raised eyebrows around the table. “No, you have to admit, Justin, you have never been so focused, I have the feeling, about your acting career.” He cited how gracious Timberlake had been at a conference for the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, how he’d worked so hard to be treated with respect by the movie world for the past three years. “For some reason, I have the feeling that you’re super-super-focused. Right now your top priority is acting, maybe. Am I wrong?”

Timberlake gave a “can you believe this guy?” grin to the table, and replied, “Would you like to know my schedule? I start a tour in the summer. I start another tour in October.”

And the award for biggest d-bag of the week goes to…

Right-wing radio host Pete Santilli has revealed an extensive plan to shoot Hillary Clinton “right in the vagina” and confront her about a whole lot of bullsh** as she dies slowly.

Santilli detailed his fantasy of murdering the former Secretary of State on his intenet radio show.

I want to shoot her right in the vagina and I don’t want her to die right away; I want her to feel the pain and I want to look her in the eyes and I want to say, on behalf of all Americans that you’ve killed, on behalf of the Navy SEALS, the families of Navy SEAL Team Six who were involved in the fake hunt down of this Obama, Obama bin Laden thing, that whole fake scenario, because these Navy SEALS know the truth, they killed them all. On behalf of all of those people, I’m supporting our troops by saying we need to try, convict, and shoot Hillary Clinton in the vagina.

LISTEN HERE:

Just when you thought there couldn’t be a worse statement than Todd Akin’s “legitimate rape” garbage. Could you imagine if a female disk jockey said she wanted to shoot Mark Sanford in the penis and antagonize him as he lay dying?

On Santilli’s website, he describes himself as a former U.S. Marine and Coca-Cola Executive. He also claims to have extensive knowledge of conspiracy theories surrounding everything from Sandy Hook to 9/11.

Isn’t this right-wing nut job aware that when you say mind numbingly stupid crap about shooting women in the vagina — people tend to give you the brush-off?

[H/T: Mediaite via Right Wing Watch]

Kaitlyn Hunt, a Florida teenager, is facing felony charges and has already been expelled from school for her lesbian relationship with another, younger student.

Hunt, who is 18, has reportedly been charged with two felony counts of “lewd and lascivious battery on a child 12 to 16.” The charges stem from her relationship with her 15-year-old girlfriend.

“These people never came to us as parents, never tried to speak to us… and tell us they had a problem with the girls dating,” Kaitlyn Hunt’s mother, Kelley Hunt-Smith, wrote in an statement posted to Facebook. “…They were out to destroy my daughter. [They] feel like my daughter ‘made’ their daughter gay.”

Hunt was arrested on Feb. 18 and charged with the two felony charges. She was expelled from school weeks before graduation and was sent to an alternative school to finish out the school year.

Hunt-Smith insists that the relationship was consensual and that that both sets of parents knew about it in the beginning. Many internet activists have spoken out about the charges and think that they are too harsh, which I fully agree with.

If Hunt is found guilty, she will most likely have to register as a sex offender for a seemingly normal, teenage relationship. The only thing that is different here is that they are lesbians and if that is why she is being charged so harshly, then that is just plain wrong. PERIOD.

The state’s attorney’s office is pushing Hunt to take a plea deal that involves two years of house arrest and a year of probation, which would stay on her adult record, which could subsequently ruin her future, as Hunt will have limited college and career choices with such harsh charges attached to her record.

Ultimately, Hunt’s conviction could potentially ruin her life. She has yet to go to trial, but a lot of reports point to a consensual relationship between two teenage girls. Nothing more, nothing less. Why should that ruin one of their lives? If it turns out there were criminal acts committed, that’s a different story, but if there weren’t, is all of this really fair?

[Huffington Post]

As you have probably heard by now, Rob Ford, the mayor of Toronto, was recently captured on video smoking crack cocaine, and the shocking video could make its way to the Internet if Gawker is able to get its hands on it.

Using the website indiegogo.com, the folks over at Gawker have kicked off what they’re calling a “crackstarter” campaign — a play on words, in reference to the popular crowd-funding platform KickStarter.

The heading at the top of the campaign’s page on indiegogo reads: “Rob Ford Crackstarter — Please help us raise enough money to purchase and publish a video of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford smoking crack cocaine.”

So far, as of Saturday night (May 18), the campaign has raised nearly $70,000 of its $200,000 goal, with 9 days left. If Gawker is able to successfully raise the $200,000 the owner of the cell phone video footage is willing to let it go for, the world will be able to watch Toronto’s “conservative” mayor smoking crack cocaine.

In the meantime, when asked to comment on the scandal, Ford told a group of reporters that gathered outside his home early Friday morning (May 17) — just hours after the story broke on Gawker and subsequently The Toronto Star — that the “allegations are absolutely not true.”

Ford added before getting into his Cadillac Escalade, CBC News Toronto reported, “It’s ridiculous, it’s another Toronto Star whatever.”

Later Friday, as Ford was leaving his downtown Toronto office, he gave another brief statement to reporters:

“Anyways, like I said this morning, these allegations are ridiculous, it’s another story with respect to the Toronto Star going after me,” Ford said. “And that’s all I’ve got to say for now.”

It’s worth noting that Ford never outright DENIES the allegations. He simply says that they’re “ridiculous,” and he’s right, the allegations are “ridiculous.”

It’s ridiculous that the mayor of one of the biggest metropolitan areas in the world has been recorded on video smoking crack cocaine, and it’s even more ridiculous that we’ll all be watching said video footage it any day now.

Gotta love that “new media.”

Click here if you would like to contribute to Gawker’s crackstarter!

Oh Kimberly. Kimberly, Kimberly, Kimberly. Why must you provide so much fodder for these blogs?

We have absolutely zero words for this, so we’ll just let our homegirl Fresh over at Crunk + Disorderly tell it:

Kim Kardashian stuffed her swollen feet inside a $2,950 pair of Givenchy Albertina podium heels for an afternoon out with mom Kris Jenner in Los Angeles yesterday. At last, your great-aunt pearl and someone on the E! channel finally have something in common. She paired the sandals with a white open sleeve dress from the same designer. House Mother Kanye would have it no other way.

“Girl! …Why you gon’ stuff yo feet in them shoes?!?” — Madea voice

[H/T: C+D]

America’s favorite fashionista and raging rapper Kanye West launched into one of his infamous rants at the Roseland Ballroom in NYC during a performance at the Adult Swim Upfront. His target was his latest arch rival: the paparazzi. You see, after running into a damn sign trying to avoid their flashing lights, needless to say ‘Ye is not feeling those guys.

So here’s Ye’s latest speech as transcribed by the good folks at Complex:

“One thing about me. I’m the worst kinda, worst kinda, worst kinda celebrity…because all I do is make real music. All I do is sit in the studio and make real, real shit. and that’s it. That’s motherf**king it. That’s motherf**king it. So I don’t want nobody trying to run up on me with no cameras, trying to sell pictures and sh*t to magazines, asking me no dumbass questions. Throwing me off of my focus and sh*t. Harassing you all motherf**king day. I ain’t no motherf**king celebrity…”

Fun fact: This is the man who voluntarily had unprotected sex with Kimberly Kardashian, a pioneer in the world of famous for being famous.

Of course, there was more:

“[I had a friend ask me, 'Are you gonna go on] SNL and you’re going to do like a skit about the paparazzi and shit and like humanize yourself?’ I ain’t here to apologize to no motherfuckers man. It ain’t about me humanizing myself. At what point did I become unhuman where I had to turn myself back? Or maybe I was demonized. Or maybe I was treated inhumane and not human in that kind of situation.

“I ain’t no motherf**king celebrity. I ain’t running for office. I ain’t kissing nobody’s motherf**king babies. I drop your baby and you sue me and sh*t. I’m trying to make some music that inspires people to be the best they can be. I don’t want nobody to ask NOTHING ELSE OF ME. Don’t ask nothing else of me. Motherf**kers chasing you down ’bout to make you crash and sh*t. And all they want is one n*gga to laugh and shit. Hell nah I ain’t doing no motherf**king SNL skits, this my goddamn life. This ain’t no motherf**king joke. That’s it. Stop that sh*t right there.”

Another fun fact: Kanye West shot a pilot for a sketch comedy show for Comedy Central, guest starring Kimberly Kardashian.

Another, other fun fact: Like it or not, Kanye West, you ARE a motherf**king celebrity. Sorry.

I’m not that deep into politics, so before now, I’ve never heard of this Rob Ford guy, who is the mayor of Toronto, but all of that is beside the point. There’s a video out there of a mayor — a CONSERVATIVE mayor — smoking crack from a pipe!

And if Gawker has its way, the world might see this video very soon so that we can all watch it and point and laugh … because who doesn’t want to see a major political figure smoking crack on camera? I most certainly do, and you know you do.

But before I get into this hell of a story — and boy is this a big one — let me put it like this. Toronto is basically the Canadian version of New York City, with a metro population of about 6 million people. That’s about 2 million less than NYC, and about 2 million more than Los Angeles.

So the fact that the mayor of a city with a population density akin to New York City — the biggest and most famous city in the entire world — has been captured … on video … smoking CRACK COCAINE (not a cigarette, not weed, not even cocaine, but CRACK cocaine) is a pretty big deal.

Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, let’s get into the meat of this here mountain of a story.

Gawker editor John Cook was recently tipped off about the existence of video footage taken within the past six months showing Toronto Mayor Rob Ford smoking crack cocaine (and it’s the real deal). To make an extremely long story short … Gawker wants to buy it.

But there’s only one problem. The guy who owns the video wants at least 6 figures for it. And the owner is so serious about their hefty price tag that he turned down a $40,000 offering from a Canadian media outlet that he refused to name.

Cook actually traveled to Toronto so that he could verify the authenticity of the clip in person, and he is 1,0000% certain that the man in the video is Rob Ford. He was even given a nice photo (at the top of this post) showing Ford hanging out with a bunch of college-aged twenty-somethings in an area that looks to be prime for crack smoking. (FYI: The gentlemen on the left, Ford’s right, flipping the bird was shot and killed two months ago outside a Toronto nightclub)

After going back and forth for days with the “tipster,” Cook eventually got a chance to personally meet up with the holder of the video camera that contained the 100% legit footage of Toronto Mayor Rob Ford smoking crack cocaine:

We sit idling in his car, making small talk. The tipster calls the owner and talks in language other than English. “He’ll be right down,” he says. Fifteen minutes pass. “Waiting for the elevator,” he says. Ten minutes pass. A young gentleman opens the rear door of the car and gets in. The two men speak in a language other than English. The young gentleman immediately exits the vehicle. No video.

The tipster looks at me: “The battery is dead.” The young gentleman—the owner of the video—needed to go back upstairs to charge the battery on the device that contained the video. We wait. More small talk.

The owner of the video returns. He thrusts a device, a phone with a touchscreen, in my face. “Can I hold it?” I ask. “No.” I crane my neck. It plays.

Here is what the video shows: Rob Ford, the mayor of Toronto, is the only person visible in the frame. Prior to the trip, I spent a lot of time looking at photographs of Rob Ford. The man in the video is Rob Ford. It is well-lit, clear.

Ford is seated, in a room in a house. In one hand is a a clear, glass pipe. The kind with a big globe and two glass cylinders sticking out of it. In the other hand is a lighter. A slurred voice off-camera is ranting about Canadian politics in what sounds like an attempt to goad Ford. “Pierre Trudeau was a faggot!” is the one phrase the lodges in my mind.

Ford, pipe in one hand and lighter in the other, is laughing, and mildly protesting at the sacrilege. He seems to keep trying to light the pipe, but keeps stopping to laugh. He is red-faced and sweaty, heaving with each breath. Finally, he finds his moment and lights up. He inhales.

In one move, the owner stops the video and draws the device back into his pocket.

“You took this?” I ask. “Yes.”

“When?” … “Within the last six months.”

“You’re sure it’s crack?” … “Yes.”

“You’ve seen him smoke crack before?” … “Yes. Gotta jet.”

And he is gone.

Well damn. It looks like Toronto has the Canadian version of Marion Berry running wild up there.

Gawker is looking for a partner to help offset the cost of the video, so if anyone out there wants to help out with this great this cause, feel free to reach out to them! The world needs to see this. Seriously.

Farrah Abraham is on the TMI train and she’s decided there’s no way she’s jumping off anytime soon.

Not content with already embarrassing the hell out of her mother (and her daughter too once she grows up and figures out what the hell is going on), Farrah is now doing media interviews to promote her “sex tape” with porn star James Deen.

In an interview with blogger Nik Richie, Farrah confesses that she enjoys anal sex and even prefers it to vaginal sex. Apparently she got her rectum blown the fuck out back when she was 15 and she’s loved it ever since.

“I had anal before I had real sex,” Farrah said.

Richie pointed out that for someone who claims to not have sex that often, it’s a bit odd that she begged James Deen to fuck her in the ass straight away in her porn video.

“I don’t think it’s awkward [that I enjoy anal more than vaginal sex]” Farrah said.

WATCH FARRAH’S INTERVIEW WITH NIK RICHIE BELOW

Hey, if the girl likes it up the poop chute, then who am I to judge? I just hope Farrah has the decency to avoid Chipotle on the nights that she opens up her anus hotel for guest check-in.

[H/T: Jezebel]

Baltimore police arrested a 31-year-old man who tried to pimp his teen wife out to an undercover cop for $100 at a hotel, which would have been a pretty common news story had the husband-pimp not been a Baltimore City cop himself.

The Maryland State Police Child Recovery Unit was reportedly working their normal proactive child prostitution/human trafficking operation last Thursday (May 9) when they came across a young-looking woman offering her services as an escort on a website known for prostitution, authorities said.

The cops responded to the ad and arranged a meeting. An undercover officer met with the woman from the ad, 19-year-old Marissa Braun, who called herself “Lexi,” at a hotel room near the Baltimore-Washington International Thurgood Marshall Airport while Braun’s husband, Lamin Manneh, waited outside in the parking lot.

Police said they arrested Braun after she allegedly told the undercover cop “You give me the $100 and then you can (have sex) with me.”

She also told the undercover that she was working for her husband, who uses his credit cards to post the ads online, and also “drives her from date to date since she cannot drive.”

Police eventually found Manneh in the parking lot of the same hotel, and he admitted to police that he was indeed pimping his wife out and corroborated her story. Manneh was arrested and charged with human trafficking and prostitution, while Braun was charged with one count of prostitution.

Manneh was reportedly booked and released on his own recognizance, but authorities said that he would be suspended without pay pending an internal affairs investigation from the Baltimore City Police Department.

Manneh is said to be in a probationary period with the department, so his arrest will likely lead to dismissal.

A spokesman from the Baltimore City Police Department released the following statement from Deputy Commissioner Jerry Rodriguez:

“This allegation is a disgrace and embarrassment to every member — both current and retired — who serve with the Baltimore Police Department. The alleged actions and criminal charges brought against Mr. Manneh are serious and undermine the integrity and pride of this organization. We expect every member of this department to hold themselves to the highest of professional standards. Our colleagues and our community deserve nothing less.”

Baltimore City police have been in the news a lot lately for criminal activity. Early last week, a Baltimore cop killed his girlfriend and held a toddler hostage before he engaged in a standoff with the SWAT Team.

And just last month, a woman recently filed a million-dollar lawsuit against the Baltimore City Police Department on claims that she was assaulted by four officers when she tried to record them with her cell phone while they were allegedly assaulting a juvenile suspect.

All of which raises this burning question: What the f**k is going on with Baltimore police?!?

In what is being considered the “most epic brand meltdown on Facebook … EVER,” a pair of restaurateurs who appeared on chef Gordon Ramsay‘s Kitchen Nightmares TV show (and made themselves look like COMPLETE ASSES by the way) went off — and when we say, off, we mean ALL THE WAY OFF — on pretty much the whole Internet, because why the hell not?

On last Friday night’s episode of Kitchen Nightmares, Amy and Samy Bouzaglo — the owners of the Scottsdale restaurant Amy’s Baking Company Bakery Boutique & Bistro — made chef Ramsay do something he says he’s never done in the 6+ years he’s been going the show. HE QUIT!

But not because he didn’t like the husband-and-wife duo, and not even because their restaurant and its food sucks. (It really does, apparently)

Ramsey proudly walked out on them because the Bouzaglo’s (ESPECIALLY Amy) are so delusional about their sucky food and the horrible way they run their business (which includes going through 100 staff members a year, taking hours to make one pizza, firing a server on camera for daring to ask “are you sure?” about an order, etc.) that they outright refused to accept his constructive criticism.

WATCH THE EPISODE HERE:

For the uninitiated, Kitchen Nightmares is Fox show in which the famous British chef Gordon Ramsay (you might remember him from Hell’s Kitchen) goes into fledgling restaurants in a last-ditch effort to help them get their isht together. In this case, the Bouzaglo’s proved that they are fully incapable of getting their isht together.

When chef Ramsay went to Amy’s Baking Company to see how they run their restaurant, he found out why they’re failing. THEIR FOOD/SERVICE SUCKS! Not only did it take almost forever for him to receive his meal, but he literally sent every single thing back because it was either undercooked, didn’t taste good, looked sloppy, or all three.

For what it’s worth, chef Ramsay did say he liked the desserts, but since desserts aren’t the only thing on the menu, that still means the restaurants as a whole sucks. And those poor Bouzaglo’s (once again, ESPECIALLY Amy) couldn’t take hearing that from the most critical, unrelenting chef in all the land.

After the show aired, the official Facebook page for Amy’s Baking Company lit up with disparaging comments about the restaurant and its owners, and of course, the Bouzaglos — being the charming, savvy business owners that they are — TOTALLY FLIPPED OUT over them, as well as the one-star rankings they received on Yelp and this thread on Reddit.

Among their barrage of angry comments on Facebook included them calling everyone “punks” and “little shits,” threatening legal action against the Redditors and Yelpers, and Amy calling herself “Wonder Woman.”

Take a look at their totally irate responses below:

Amy and Samy Bouzaglo have since deleted the postings and updated their Facebook with this:

Obviously our Facebook, YELP, Twitter and Website have been hacked. We are working with the local authorities as well as the FBI computer crimes unit to ensure this does not happen again. We did not post those horrible things. Thank You Amy & Samy

“Obviously.”

[H/T: BuzzFeed, Eater]

Over the past year or so, it seems like Burger King has been copying and pasting the McDonald’s business model, but now they’re just getting desperate.

Beginning May 21st, USA Today reports, Burger King will begin selling its own version of the world famous McDonald’s McRib sandwich, called the “BK Rib Sandwich,” which is basically a carbon copy of the McRib, featuring a boneless pork product covered in a tangy barbecue sauce topped with “butter bread” and “sweet pickles.”

Our guests have grown to look for a variety of options,” said Eric Hirschhorn, BK’s vice president of global innovation. “It’s not just about beef anymore, but other proteins like chicken and turkey and pork.”

Whatever dude. Just keep copying McDonald’s. It seems to be working.

Meanwhile, McDonald’s is all “F**k that. we ball.”

Mickey Dee’s Spokeswoman Danya Proud said in a statement, “We know our customers love McRib and we won’t disappoint them.” Proud said that the McRib is “returning,” though she declined to say exactly when.

Though TMZ recently snapped “Teen Mom” star Farrah Abraham buying a pregnancy test, there’s no way her recent porn film captured any baby making … this according to porn star James Deen.

Farah’s “Backdoor Teen Mom” co-star expressed his outrage over what he calls a “publicity stunt” to Celebuzz:

“To say you’re potentially pregnant is not something to joke about. When you knowingly involve another human being and a publicity stunt around that, a child is not something to be taken lightly,” Deen said. “It’s not a game anymore and it’s really not cool. This is a type of publicity I do not agree with and I do not want to participate in,” he added. “Joking or lying or using pregnancy to get attention and media is not cool.”

Deen added that he was told by Vivid entertainment that Abraham was on birth control when they were negotiating a deal prior to filming.

“I spoke to the clinic where we both got tested before our scene along with my personal medical doctor regarding the subject. However, I am more concerned about the fact that Vivid told me she was on birth control,” he said. “Had I known she was not taking preventive measures I would have never accepted the scene.”

Abraham’s desperate attempt for attention is nothing knew. After all, she did stage a sex tape and sold it to Vivid for almost $1 million.

Though Deen looks down on the reality star’s constant bids for attention, he has seemingly failed to acknowledge that he hasn’t been able to shut up about this sex tape from the beginning.

Despite what the porn actor claims, TMZ is alleging that Abraham was not on birth control at the time that the faux “sex tape” was filmed. But those who have viewed the tape (guilty!) know that though Deen wasn’t wearing a condom, well … let’s just say he aimed straight for her face, if you know what I mean.

But let’s just have Deen explain it:

“I am taking it seriously enough to research the possibility of someone getting pregnant from anal sex and semen on their face while they are having sex on their period with a sponge inside them.”

How many more biopics does the world need? Hurry up and answer because by the end of this sentence, at least four more will have already received the green light. Although there already is a great made for TV film about the life of the iconic Josephine Baker starring Lynn Whitfield out there, a production company called Noosa Films wants to create their own version based on her autobiography Josephine.

The company reportedly recently secured the rights from French publishers, Editions Robert Laffont, and are already at work on getting the movie plans going. They even have a star in mind. Producer W. Lance Reynolds is hoping to convince Rihanna to take on the role.

In a statement, Reynolds said, “Rihanna is one of the most talented performers of this millennium and with her unique acting and performing abilities I have no doubt she will bring Josephine back to life on the big screen.”

Her performing abilities are unique alright. Rihanna is uniquely able to fill out arenas despite dancing like her left leg is asleep. I love the girl, but she’s about as consistent with performing well as Stevie J is with staying faithful.

This is Josephine Baker shaking a tail feather. Now have you ever seen Rihanna move with that sense of urgency? That is, besides to go roll a blunt.

Should Rihanna sign on for the project, won’t this be an interesting movie?

If you haven’t heard already, famous choreographer Wade Robson is reportedly suing and seeking monetary damages from the estate of Michael Jackson, claiming that he was molested by the late Pop icon when he was a child.

According to TMZ, Wade’s lawyer filed the actual complaint under seal, preventing its contents from being made available to the public, but their sources say that it “specifically outlines the alleged abuse at the hands of Michael Jackson.” The lawsuit is also said to mention a “leading” psychiatrist who treated Wade.

Robson, who is now 30 years old, met Michael when he was five, and the two developed a “friendship” that lasted for nearly 10 years until Wade was 14 years old.

Wade says by the time he was seven, he was going for sleepovers at Jackson’s famous Neverland Ranch home in Santa Barbara, Calif., as well as the singer’s homes in Los Angeles and Las Vegas. During that time is when the alleged molestations occurred.

If you’re wondering “why now?” keep reading. The story gets even more “interesting” from here.

Apparently, Robson had a total mental breakdown in March 2012 that pushed him into complete seclusion and ruined his career.

According to Robson’s friends and family, he was unable to fulfill his work commitments and ended up breaching a number of contracts, including a deal he had to write three songs. They say he lost “a ton of money” and hasn’t earned hardly anything since.

After his breakdown, Robson went to a psychotherapist over the course of several weeks and that’s when the “floodgates” opened. That was when he told his family that he had been molested by Michael Jackson between the ages of 7 and 14.

Robson’s attorney, Henry Gradstein reiterated to TMZ that Michael Jackson was a “monster who sexually abused Wade for seven years as a child and threatened him if he ever went public.”

Gradstein said:

“Last year, on a career trajectory that was off the charts, he [Wade] collapsed under the stress and sexual trauma of what had happened to him for seven years as a child. [Wade] lived with the brain washing by a sexual predator until the burden of it all crushed him.”

…Michael would tell Wade, “If anyone ever finds out about what we did we will go to jail for the rest of our lives” and “our lives will be ruined forever.”

…the threats worked, and Wade kept his mouth shut, adding, “This kind of intimidation of a child by a sexual predator is tragically characteristic and effective, keeping them quiet about the abuse – often for a lifetime.”

…”Michael Jackson was a monster and in their hearts every normal person knows it.”

This is where the “interesting” part comes in. Wade actually DEFENDED Michael Jackson and actually DENIED being molested by the icon in 2005 during the singer’s infamous second child molestation case, when Jackson’s former housekeeper Blanca Francia testified that she witnessed Jackson in the shower with Wade when he was 8 or 9 years old.

Wade, who also testified in defense of Jackson during his 1993 trial, explained the reason why he took so long to file the molestation allegations, saying that he “repressed” the memories for two decades.

Wade’s lawyer says Wade hasn’t asked for a specific amount of money from Jackson’s estate, which is currently embroiled in a wrongful death lawsuit worth $40 billion against AEG, and he’s making it clear that “the Jackson money machine” — as he calls it — won’t be able to “keep the truth from coming out.”

Wade’s attorneys are also making it clear that the lawsuit isn’t about money, as Wade has “substantial savings.”

As for lawyers for the Jackson estate, they are denying the allegations, saying that they are “outrageous and pathetic.”

Amanda Knox has been repeatedly vilified by the media because she was (gasp!) sexually active. The press, especially the Italian press, just couldn’t grasp the idea that Knox was doing something that most college students do.

Knox’s sexual history has been on trial for years — sending the damaging message that a woman who expresses her sexuality — will be judged and scrutinized.

Take her recent interview with CNN’s Chris Cuomo for instance (aka some older dude yelling about “freaky sex stuff”). This steaming pile of garbage CNN calls an interview is troubling on many levels.

In case you missed it, Cuomo played the role of a douchie frat boy and Knox played the role of scolded cornered person.

“Knox is into some freaky sexual things!” he said. “Were you into into deviant sex? Insensitive question, but hey…”

Cumo’s backwards slut-shaming continued for most of the segment.

Watch the “you’ve got to be fucking kidding me” moments unfold in the following clip:

Knox was convicted and then cleared of killing her roommate Meredith Kercher while they were studying abroad in Perugia, Italy. It was later announced that the Italian court is now seeking a re-trial.

One thing’s for certain … when it comes to CNN, there’s plenty of shitty “news coverage” to go round. Who could forget their skewed view of the Steubenville rape trial? Or their laughable “actually, we just made that up” coverage of the Boston bombing.

What kind of nonsense will the network churn out next? Faking a “remote” split-screen interview?

[H/T: Gawker]

Well this is pretty funny. On Tuesday morning, CNN’s Ashley Banfield and HLN’s Nancy Grace did a “remote” split-screen interview to discuss the Cleveland kidnappings (since they’re both currently in Phoenix, AZ covering the Jodi Arias trial), which is pretty normal stuff for news anchors to do, right? Of course! Only, both Banfield and Grace are not just in the same city … but they’re IN THE SAME DAMN PARKING LOT!

If you look closely at the GIF at the top of this page, you will immediately notice the same red car driving pass both Banfield and Grace.

Check out another damning GIF here:

Did you see the man walking by, and the Nissan Xterra driving by, in both shots?

Also, peep this:

THE SAME EXACT BUS. WTF, CNN! Do you think we’re stupid?

And not only are the two news anchors in the exact same parking lot facing the exact same direction, but according to The Atlantic Wire (who first pointed this SMH-worthy mess out), they can’t be anymore than 30 feet away from each other.

It seems that Grace and Banfield are sitting in the same parking lot, facing in the same direction, and judging by the speed of the vehicles in their shots, they cannot be sitting more than 30 feet away from each other. Yet, they’re behaving as if the are on opposite sides of the world.

Granted, Grace and Banfield are on two separate networks (that share the same parent company, never-the-less) … but still, the fact that they were pretending to be in two different parts of the world when they’re really just a few brisk steps away from each other makes this whole thing HILARIOUS.

Future has helped Ciara finally get a much-needed hit and how does she repay him? By messing with his money! That is, according to one man who just slapped Ciara’s boo thang with a lawsuit for bailing on a concert appearance because she wanted to be all uppity and what-not.

In an interview with Power 105.1′s “The Breakfast Club,” promoter Cliff Dutton says Future skipped out on a club appearance in Las Vegas and blames it all on Ciara. Apparently, when the club sent stretch limos to scoop up Future and Ciara, Ciara refused to enter and asked for SUVs instead.

Why would she act so funny over stretch limos? I assume because it’s no longer 1993. Whatever the case, after they sent SUVs per request, she still refused to go to the club so the couple skip the event altogether. Cliff ultimately booted them both from the hotel suite he paid for and has subsequently filed a $46,000 suit against the rapper.

Cliff told the morning show team, “I don’t give a damn about Ciara. I didn’t book Ciara.” Apparently, this would have been Future’s first paid appearance in Las Vegas.

Ciara, don’t come between a man and his money. You’ll mess around and get traded for Mya.

You can check out the interview below:

[H/T: Rhymes with Snitch]

When it comes to World Star Hip Hop fights, most of us can admit to enjoying some of the amateur boxing that takes place in local restaurants and parties and gets uploaded for our amusement. But this latest fight from a waffle house in Augusta, Ga. might have crossed the line.

Without operating on very much information here, it appears that the four women staff at a waffle house in Augusta engaged in a brouhaha. The ladies split into pairs and two waitresses got to tussling in the corner on the right. On the left side of the video, a larger women wearing yellow scraps and then restrains a woman in a green t-shirt.

While the camera is focused on the woman in yellow and the lady in green, you hear a primal howl of anguish and distress and the camera quickly shifts to the two ladies fighting on the right. That’s when we see what caused the blood-curdling cries: One waitress is sitting on top of the other as she pulls her hair out in handfuls.

You can hear the tearing and ripping as she yanks without restraint and then punches her co-worker in the face.

Jesus Christ.

I’m usually inclined to crack jokes on these videos but this kind of violence just makes me want to curl up in a corner and weep. All I know is somebody better see some jailtime behind this mess.

Watch the video of the brutal beatdown, if you can stomach it, below.

Pop music isn’t known for being the most grammatically correct field of entertainment, but glaring errors like the ones spotted in the lyric video for Jennifer Lopez’s latest single “Live It Up” are simply too egregious to be ignored.

So here’s a fun fact: The English language can be pretty tricky when it comes to mastering its grammar. Apostrophes usually indicate possession by a subject. For example, Tommy’s room, Katy’s car and Emily’s dinner.

But when it comes to non-specific subjects like “who,” the rules flip a bit. “Who’s” is the contracted form of “who is” or “who has.” For example, “Who’s usually the first person at the bus stop in mornings?”

The correct way to indicate possession for “who” is “whose.” For example, “If this jacket doesn’t belong to you, whose is it?”

Unfortunately, the poor intern tasked with transcribing the lyrics to Pitbull’s verse on J.Lo’s new single didn’t get the memo and ended up using “who’s” when Pitbull really meant “whose.” Again, grammatically incorrect lyrics or slang used intentionally is one thing, but this is on par with using “you’re” when you really meant “your.”

It’s unfortunate too, because the error is repeated back to back as Pitbull runs through his various accomplishments rhetorically asking whose name is behind it all.

These are the kinds of mistakes that spellcheck won’t catch. That’s why education is so important, kids.

For what it’s worth, the song “Live It Up,” which is produced by RedOne, is actually hot. Although it is unnecessarily vulgar for a woman who’s a mother of two and in her forties. When will J.Lo stop making dance music from the perspective of a horny undergrad? When she’s 60?

Check out the new song, along with those annoying grammatical errors, in the lyric video below.

As Lindsay Lohan gets further into her 90-day treatment program at the Betty Ford clinic in L.A., there’s one drug that she’ll be allowed to take while at the facility. TMZ is reporting that Lohan has permission to take Adderall during her time at the Betty Ford clinic.

Lohan reportedly has a prescription for the medication because she was previously diagnosed with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder. According to the FDA‘s website, Adderall is federally controlled because it can “be abused of lead to dependence.”

Lohan’s trip to rehab sparked controversy last week when news broke that she intended to check into Morningside Recovery in Newport Beach. It was revealed that the institution was not a licensed rehabilitation facility and the court determined that it was not a suitable treatment center for Lohan.

Now it’s being reported that Lohan’s lawyer Mark Heller, who attempted to defend Morningside, was completely full of shit. Heller, who Lohan fired and replaced with her former lawyer Shawn Holley, attempted to convince Judge Jim Dabney that the facility was in Lohan’s best interest.

Yet, documents obtained by TMZ tell a different story. The institution, which had its license revoked in Sept. 2012 purportedly “failed to report the death of a patient, providing unlicensed medical services and improperly handling prescription drugs.”

In other words (and as “30 Rock’s” Liz Lemon would say) … “Shut it down!”

While we may live in the age of live tweeting your sexual exploits, fact is no one has to tell you their business if they choose not to. I wish someone had explained this to Hot 97 DJ Mister Cee before he decided to talk to his co-workers about reportedly being arrested for trying to pay for penis on-air.

In one of the most embarrassing interviews in quite some time, the hip-hop producer and radio personality refused to give people the Jason Collins moment they were clamoring for.

Cee denies that he was trying to pay a man for some special attention, arguing that it was instead a female cop.

He explained:

“The female Latino cop, I have her badge number so I know who it is….The first story that came out in the Daily News said it was a female undercover officer and you can research and see that that story was posted. Then they changed it soon after to male undercover officer. I have no idea why it changed.”

Maybe because they realized she had a dick?

In any event, Mister Cee denied that he was gay, though he did note, “I support the gay community more than anyone knows.” I imagine he’s not referring to the 2011 charge of soliciting a male prostitute that he pleaded guilty to. On that, Cee claimed the only reason he took that charge was to keep his family’s peace of mind in tact.

He also admitted an addiction. “Yes, I do like prostitutes. I have engaged a lot with prostitutes in my life many times. Same with strippers. I’ve tricked on them many times… I don’t have an addiction to prostitutes. I have an addiction to instant gratification,” he said, adding, “I need help. I been dealing with it and trying to deal with it for the last 10-12 years.”

How many more dudes does one have to be caught with before acknowledging their preference? Clearly it depends on the person. For those that don’t believe him, Cee quipped: “If I’m lying and I chose not to come out, that’s my choice.”

That it is. While I believe Mister Cee seems more inclined to have a body party with Miss Lawrence than his home girl, I also find it funny that many of the people calling on him to be himself and live openly aren’t doing much in the way of making him feel comfortable.

Case in point:

You’ve seen her on MTV as a teenage mother … but now you can see her doing something she’s actually good at.

Farrah Abraham‘s now infamous “sex tape” with porn star James Deen has hit Vivid and the site introduces the footage better than we ever could have:

From Iowa cheerleader to MTV Teen Mom star, midwest beauty Farrah Abraham breaks free with her most daring video ever, Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom. Made originally as a personal ‘boudoir’ tape, Farrah decided to release the video to her fans due to overwhelming response once news of the tape became public. Shockingly explicit, she takes James Deen as you’d never imagine, in a backdoor scene you’ll never forget. With her tight young body and totally uninhibited sexuality, it’s no wonder why she wanted to capture this moment in time. And now you can too!

The tape begins with Farrah deciding on what to wear. She goes through a giant bag of lingerie that a friend lent her (gross!) and brags about the fact that she doesn’t have any underwear on. Yet when Deen attempts to get a crotch shot, the amateur porn star becomes ever so modest and attempts to block him from putting the camera up her dress.

After all, it’s not like she’s filming a sex tape or anything, right?

In fairness to Farrah, she’s rather observant when it comes to her own ridiculousness. “I don’t know why I’m putting on lingerie when you’re just gonna take it off of me,” she says. We agree.

Playfully frustrated, Deen refers to her as a “retard” and it’s all downhill from there. For instance, when Farrah strips off her dress, she yells “Boobs!” — just in case Deen, who has appeared in hundreds of adult films, isn’t sure how to identify breasts.

She then asks, “Is my booty right? My non-cornbread booty.”

We looked up the slang term for cornbread and according to the Urban Dictionary, it is defined as follows.

1. A girl with an extremely large ass, this refers to the fact that she must “eat her cornbread” in order to obtain such a fine ass.

2. Money a prostitute makes from performing anal sex acts, as in getting cornholed.

Funnily enough, the second definition now applies to Farrah.

Another high point is when she refers to Deen as a “butt-head” and he refers to her as a “slut.”

But our favorite quote has to be when she attempts to unbutton Deen’s pants.

Deen: “Do you know how buttons work?”

Farrah: “No, not today. I forgot my brain when I came to hang out with you.”

After engaging in a bit of foreplay, Farrah gets up to find some lube because “we’re gonna do anal later.” After all, it’s called the “Backdoor Teen Mom.” And down the stairs she goes to retrieve her lube but not before proclaiming, “my ass is shy.”

“I haven’t done this in forever,” she says, “Never, in Neverland.”

The rest of the tape is pretty much Farrah yelling “harder” while engaging in pretty much every sex position possible.

Here are her five best lines.

“My brain is like off. You fucked my brains out.”

“My ass is in pain.”

“There’s something wrong with me.”

“My ass is seeing stars.”

“There’s cum in my eye ball.”

And though Deen has many great quotes, we forgot them all after he said this one:

“Are you wiping cum off your face with a pillow?”

Yup, very much like Teen mom … this video is much better with the sound OFF.

Anyhow, after a brief (and uneventful) shower scene, we are treated to a eyeball scalding limo ride. At first, Farrah pretends that she doesn’t know why Deen is filming her but that jig is up pretty quickly because, surprise, she forgot to wear underwear!

Fun fact: Farrah carries lube and a “magic wand” sex toy everywhere she goes. We know this because she retrieves the two items from her purse and then uses them on herself.

Whoever was driving the limo … our thoughts and prayers are with you.

If you’re interested in watching Farrah’s 90-minute sex tape (even though we already did so you don’t have to), you can either pay to watch the full thing on Vivid or you can watch this 5-minute clip on Gawker.

Longtime crazy train passenger Lindsay Lohan is currently in rehab and unable to give those awkward, lie-filled interviews we love so much. But thankfully, just before she checked into the Betty Ford clinic in LA, she gave an interview with Piers Morgan in which she talked a whole lot of hilarious nonsense.

For instance, the actress claims that the only time she voluntarily went into rehab was when she was filming the 2007 film “I Know Who Killed Me” because working on the film gave her “nightmares.”

That’s right. Neither her addiction to drugs/alcohol nor the fact that she’s as troubled as they come sent her to rehab. It was because she’s such a method actress and got so deep into her role that she became “traumatized” by the whole thing.

Girl, please!

I’m no expert on rehabilitation facilities or anything like that, but I’m going to go on ahead and assume that rehab isn’t for curing the effects of starring in a shitty movie that gave you bad dreams.

“Once. I went when I was doing a movie called ‘I Know Who Killed Me,’ and I hadn’t been drinking for a year at that point, but I was having really bad nightmares and the movie was pretty traumatizing. So I stayed in a facility so I could get some sleep and talk about it with someone the next day, because it was overwhelming. But I would leave every day and just sleep there at night,” she continues, “I liked that. It was kind of like having my own live-in therapist, because I was having crazy nightmares and I was having AA meetings on set and stuff. It really helped.”

In her defense, I’ve seen that hot mess of a movie and it has haunted me to this day. I could have definitely used some counseling to get over watching that steaming pile of garbage. The movie makes “Liz & Dick” look like “Citizen Kane.”

For those of you that haven’t seen the film (hello, most of the world), the plot centers on a teenager who is kidnapped and tortured by a serial killer. Meanwhile, a stripper, who happens to be her secret twin sister, mysteriously begins losing her fingers and eventually her leg.

Warning: Spoilers ahead! (If you care…)

That’s because the twins are so connected that what happens to one of them also happens to the other. Meaning, when the murderer is cutting off girl A’s limbs, girl B also loses body parts.

If you think that’s funny, there’s also a scene in which the stripper runs to rescue her sister but doesn’t realize she forgot to charge her prosthetic leg and has to hop through the woods without it.

These are the things that nightmares are made of people!

Watch the trailer for “I Know Who Killed Me” here:

In a strange twist of events, Antoine Dodson, YouTube’s most flamboyant viral sensation, took to Facebook to renounce his homosexuality and declare his love for God. What’s next? Is Tiger Woods going to take a vow of celibacy and become a Catholic priest?

The whole thing started when Dodson posted this bizarre message on Facebook saying he was “no longer into homosexuality” and expressed that he wanted a wife and children.

Most people reacted with skepticism and outrage at Antoine’s announcement. The ex-gay movement, a belief among certain people that homosexuality can be willed or “cured” has long drawn sharp criticism from gay rights groups who have deemed the organizations cultish, deceitful and harmful.

Antoine, however, isn’t involved in an ex-gay movement so much as he’s been swept up by the Black Hebrew Israelite sect of Christianity. This group, which some have labeled as a cult, makes strong lifestyle demands of its members and homosexuality is not a trait the group entertains.

In an effort to explain himself, Antoine appeared on Huff Post Live for a segment. The host was shady as all hell as she repeatedly probed and questioned Antoine’s newfound attraction to women.

Interviewer: Antoine, are you now attracted to women?

Antoine: Even back then, before I even came out and said “I’m gay, this, that and the other…” I was dating women. Growing up in school I was dating women so this is not new to me. I’ve always liked the art of a woman. I’ve always liked that. I guess it got to the point so much that I tried to like actually be that instead of being with that. I was like, “You know what? This is just foolishness, let me just get back to who I am.”

Interviewer: I have to wonder, listening to you talk about the art of a woman’s body, which is not the way most straight men talk about women’s bodies but hey, what do I know?

Antoine: You’re not a man!

That reporter was reading Antoine down to the ground.

WATCH THE WHOLE SEGMENT BELOW:

While Antoine is putting religion front and center, the main motive for Antoine’s decision to become an ex-gay seems rooted in his utter loneliness. He mentions that his younger, heterosexual siblings all have families and he is left all alone with no one to call partner or a child to call him daddy.

It’s understandable that he’d feel isolated when he compares his life with his siblings, but that’s no excuse to live a lie. Even if Antoine in his hearts of hearts really believes he can live a heterosexual lifestyle, what normal woman is going to want to marry and procreate with a man who has lived life as a well-known gay figure?

Her extensions, wigs and stilettos would never be safe around her “man” and frankly, there aren’t too many women who’d find the idea of that very appealing.

But hey, do you, Antoine Dodson. I just hope the Israelites can maintain his lifestyle, because being a sourpuss, Revelations-style, extremist Christian ain’t gonna rake in the ad dollars and iTunes monies like “Bed Intruder” did.

Mountain Dew‘s parent company PepsiCo has announced that they are pulling an offensive commercial advertisement that has sparked a ton of outrage online from viewers who feel as though the ad is racist.

Pepsi released the following statement:

“We understand how this video could be perceived by some as offensive, and we apologize to those who were offended. We have removed the video from all Mountain Dew channels and have been informed that Tyler is removing it from his channels as well.”

The 60-second spot, which was created by controversial Hip Hop artist Tyler the Creator, shows a battered woman on crutches who is asked to pick her assailant out of a police lineup of five black guys (one named Beyonte?) and a crazy goat named Felicia.

The five black guys are members of Tyler the Creator’s music group Odd Future, and that particular ad is one of several commercials devised by the rapper.

In the commercial, Felicia the goat — in a male voice — taunts the battered woman, using phrases like “You betta not snitch on a playa!”, “Snitches get stitches, fool!” and “Keep your mouth shut!” In all honesty, it’s really stupid and not even in the least bit funny. I think “pointless” is the real word we’re looking for here.

Your Black World‘s Dr. Boyce Watkins had this to say about the ad, which he considers to be “arguably the most racist commercial in history”:

In the world of Mountain Dew, every single suspect is black Not just regular black people, but the kinds of ratchety negroes you might find in the middle of any hip-hop minstrel show: Gold teeth, “mean mugging,” sun glasses wearing, white-t sportin, hard core n*ggaz ready to “get into some ol gangsta sh*t.” Apparently, this is the kind of ad you put out if you want to appeal to the black male demographic.

In response to the controversy, Odd Future’s manager released a statement via Tumblr. Read an excerpt below:

It was never Tyler’s intention to offend however, offense is personal and valid to anyone who is offended. Out of respect to those that were offended and the ad was taken down. For those who know and respect Tyler he is known for pushing boundaries and challenging stereotypes thru humor. This is someone who grew up on David Chappelle. This situation is layered with context and is a discussion that Tyler would love to address in the right forum as he does have a point of view. As someone who hasn’t had the experience of being discriminated against I choose to respect the opinion of those who have… what I can speak to is Tyler who represents much more than the current narrative this story suggests. Contrary to what many may discern from this Tyler is the embodiment of not judging others, his delivery may not be for everyone (which is true for anyone who pushes boundaries) but his voice is nonetheless important to the conversation since his demographic understands what he ultimately stands for and sees the irony of it all.

A semi-NSFW photo appearing to show rapper Danny Brown receiving what is being deemed an “unwanted blowjob” from an overeager fan during a concert in Minneapolis has been making the rounds on the Internet this week.

The Detroit rapper has yet to comment on the bizarre “experience,” but his best friend and fellow artist Kitty Pryde wrote about it in a lengthy post for the Vice blog Noisey, bringing up the fact that what happened was most definitely rape, and how it was NOT okay.

A little backstory: According to HuffPost Music (via AllHipHop), Brown was performing as part of The Old & Reckless tour when he invited some female fans on stage, and one extremely horny woman apparently took that as an invitation to orally rape him.

One concertgoer who was near the stage explained the incident, and added that Brown continued his set and kept on rapping as if nothing happened:

I was right behind the girl and saw everything it was scaring edit: Okay so this is how it all went down I was near the front row and all night Danny had been going up to the crowd and having random girls touch his dick through his pants.

Then this girl in front of me starts flashing him and he goes up to her and grabs her tits. Then all of a sudden gets up close pulls his shirt up a little and she start blowing him. Then I’m behind her and I start getting pushed against her by the crowd shifting. It horrible and i hope you guys will be donating to my future therapy sessions but also i came back with a story. He rapped the entire time during too.

Apparently, Danny Brown’s shtick is that he’s nasty, vulgar and overly sexual, but that crazy woman definitely took things a bit too far. No one deserved a sex act to be “forced” upon them.

The fact that a guy’s pants was pulled down and he forcibly received oral sex, and kept on rapping, may seem pretty funny on the outside … but had that been a woman, someone would be in jail right now. Or dead.

Just picture it. Some perv yanking Nicki Minaj’s pants down and practicing fellatio on her live on stage in front of an audience. That guy probably would have been shot on sight. Shit would have made CNN! Granted, it’s Nicki Minaj, but change the example to a lesser known — like Azealia Banks — and you would still get the same amount of outrage.

Kitty Pryde, who is currently touring with Danny Brown, wrote in her blog post that the incident is rarely ever brought up among their crew, and on that rare instance that someone does mention it, it is referred to as “The Thing.”

“The Thing” has already sparked a big discussion on Twitter, and various threads on Reddit featuring comments from people who were there, saying they thought the whole ‘thing’ was scary.

Kendrick Lamar even gave Brown an incredulous congratulations, and Brown tweeted back, writing: “didn’t miss one bar bruh bruh.” But after realizing that he was making light of a live rape (his OWN live rape at that), Brown quickly deleted his tweet, but not before someone sreenshotted it. (See above)

Kitty Pryde, however, is far from making light of the incident, which she referred to as a “sexual assault” on her friend. Here’s a snippet of what she wrote in her blog post:

Like anyone else, Danny wants to be respected as an artist and a human. Like any other male, especially those in the public eye (and especially those who spend a lot of time talking about licking vaginas), he wants to be respected as a “man.”

I’m mad that a person thought it was okay to pull another person’s pants down during their performance in front of about 700 other people. I’m mad that a person thought it was a good idea to perform a sex act on another person without their consent. I’m mad that nobody made her leave.

I’m mad that Danny had to actually wonder what he was supposed to do at that point. I’m mad that when I went home and said I had no respect for that girl, I was attacked for being a “slut-shamer” (after literally leading a girl to his hotel room at 3AM at her request) and, even more outrageously, for being jealous of the girl who sucked his dick.

I’m mad that when two dudes pulled my pants down onstage, other people got mad too, but when it happened to Danny the initial reaction was like one big high-five. I’m mad that people are treating “The Thing” like it’s some legendary event.

I’m mad that even though they know exactly who the girl is, nobody in the media will even talk to her. I’m mad that I get a bunch of emails a day asking me to talk about my best friend’s “misogyny” and “classless behavior”, from people who have heard only rumors and seen only one very blurry and inconclusive iPhone photo.

I won’t go into detail about the actual events because I was pretty drunk and I don’t want to tell the wrong story. I will say that it happened so quickly that nobody I talked to after the show even knew anything had happened (there was only one photo and no video—how rare is that). I will also say that whoever wrote on Reddit that Danny was “walking around the stage getting girls to grab his dick” is 100% false, and to blame someone for their own molestation is a shitty thing to do.

Anybody who is exaggerating this tale to climax is also a lying fool, and to call it a blow job is even going a bit far because it was probably the fastest thing I’ve ever seen. “The Thing” was not a thing that Danny facilitated—it was an actual sexual assault, and somehow nobody gives a fuck about that but me.

It’s obvious that the reason nobody cares is because a girl did it to a boy. I said this on my blog, but I’ll say it again here—I had my pants ripped off onstage, and didn’t know what to do either because being naked in front of 1000 people is incredibly scary and there’s not much quick decision-making happening in your brain during that sort of thing. Now I’m prepared to kick a motherfucker in the teeth if he touches me at all, and I equip myself with giant boots for that reason.

What is Danny supposed to do? The girl was at mouth-to-dick level already and to push her away, he would’ve had to either pushed her face or kicked her, and even the most gentle of either motion would immediately be labeled “abuse” by anyone watching. Guys pushing girls is not a good look when people are taking photos. So what was Danny supposed to do, other than back away, which he did?

And if he had figured out a way to gently push the girl off him immediately without looking like he was smacking her in the face, he’s faced with attacks on his masculinity by every douchebro in the building. Yo dude, you don’t want your dick sucked, bro? Are you gay? Haha you’re gay you don’t want girls to suck your dick haha gay dude bro man swag! And that’s a rapper’s literal nightmare.

Amanda Bynes, everyone’s favorite Twitter abusing nutcase, is still posting cryptic musings and photos of herself.

This time around, she’s tweeting semi-nude pics of herself and is claiming that she needs to lose weight — a lot of weight. The pics feature Bynes in a black lace pushup bra and yoga pants. The photos appear to have been taken in her bathroom. In one of them, she is totally topless, using her hands to cover her breasts/nipples. Classy!

The 5’8” crazy pill consumer wrote:

About to put on makeup! I weigh 135, I’ve gained weight! I need to be 100 lbs! twitpic.com/cn7gtx

— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) April 30, 2013

That’s right. Now that’s she’s mastered being insane, her goal is to be underweight. That’ll send a great message to her fans. But wait, she probably doesn’t have any of those anymore, so we’re good.

Her latest post contrasts what she posted last week when she said:

All I want is a boyfriend who wants us to grow old and to get fat together.

— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) April 24, 2013

According to Health Check Systems, a woman of Bynes’ height should weigh somewhere between 126 to 139 pounds.

But it doesn’t end there. The bleach blonde also tells InTouch Weekly that she that she is not crazy, and that only an “ugly” person would say such a thing about her.

“I have no clue [why people call me crazy]. Every time I’ve heard it, it came from an ugly person’s mouth, so I don’t care. The only ones lying about me having a mental illness are people I don’t talk to. I only have hot friends. They have my back until I die.”

Sounds like all of that peroxide she put in her hair has seeped into her brain! The poor thing.

With members of law enforcement on high alert for potential terrorists, the public has been reminded who the real dangerous individuals are … high school girls who are into science.

Miami News Times is reporting that Kiera Wilmot, a student at Miami’s Bartow High School, was expelled from school and is facing criminal charges, after a science experiment she was conducting exploded.

The incident has generated widespread attention and is shaking up the blogosphere.

The so-called “crime” occurred on Monday (Apr 29) when the 16-year-old mixed common household chemicals into a water bottle to see what would happen. The mixture of random chemicals apparently caused the cap on the bottle to fly off and some smoke appeared, but no one was hurt.

In a statement, the principal of the school said that Wilmot simply made a bad decision.

“She made a bad choice. Honestly, I don’t think she meant to ever hurt anyone,” principal Ron Pritchard told the station. “She wanted to see what would happen [when the chemicals mixed] and was shocked by what it did. Her mother is shocked, too.”

Unfortunately, police saw the situational differently. The teen has been charged with “possession/discharge of a weapon on school grounds and discharging a destructive device.”

Those words carry a whole lot of weight these days, when on-campus violence is not only prevalent but has manifested in horrific ways. It’s likely that Wilmot’s future is in jeopardy, since she has been expelled from school and will now have to complete her diploma through an expulsion program.

We’re guessing that’s not going to look too great on a college application. Not to mention getting a job is also going to be a challenge, considering one has to inform potential employers if they have ever been convicted of a crime.

Thankfully, the school district is fighting for her and won’t let her suffer for the rest of her life for what was a harmless act.

Oh wait, no … they actually support the girl being punished as if she were a dangerous, life-threatening criminal. Go figure.

The district said in a statement:

“Anytime a student makes a bad choice it is disappointing to us. Unfortunately, the incident that occurred at Bartow High School yesterday was a serious breach of conduct. In order to maintain a safe and orderly learning environment, we simply must uphold our code of conduct rules. We urge our parents to join us in conveying the message that there are consequences to actions. We will not compromise the safety and security of our students and staff.”

You would think that all of the attention that the case has gotten would force authorities and the school to take their hardcore punishment down a notch, but nope. The Polk County School District tell Miami News Times that kids should learn “there are consequences to their actions.”

Where is that criminal sensitive CNN coverage when you really need it?

[Miami News Times, WTSP]

“Florida man“ strikes again!

Apparently confusing 911 for a “Kool-Aid, burgers and weed” delivery service, a man from Florida thought to dial the emergency number — not just once, or twice, or even ten times, but 80 TIMES — to request those three things, and now he’s in jail for it. Stupid Florida Man.

According to the police affidavit, obtained by the Tampa Bay Times, 34-year-old Jarvis Sutton of St. Petersburg, Fla. called 911 on Sunday (Apr 28) “approximately 80 times” because he wanted “Kool-Aid, burgers and weed to be delivered to him.”

Somethin’ to smoke on. Somethin’ to snack on. Then somethin’ to sip on. This guy wanted it all.

Sutton never got any of those things, of course, but what he did get was a nice trip down to the Pinellas County Jail. Police said on the way there, Sutton started chewing on the foam attached to the metal caging in the back of the police cruiser.

Sutton faces a charge of misusing 911, and was reportedly still in jail as of Wednesday, May 1st … even though his bail is only $150.

Mugshot via WTSP

An 80-year-old woman from Florida was left embarrassed after she accidentally a REAL diamond worth $5,000 at a charity event in Tampa, Florida.

According to USA Today (via Newser), the octogenarian attended a fashion show fundraiser in Tampa on Saturday (Apr 27), and purchased a $20 flute of champagne with a small, but potentially very valuable, prize inside.

Of the 400 glasses, 399 contained a measly $10 cubic zirconia, and 1 lucky glass held the $5,000 diamond. Miriam Tucker had that lucky glass … but the only problem was that she accidentally swallowed the diamond.

“I thought I’d drink a bit of champagne so I didn’t have to stick my finger so far into the glass,” Tucker tells the Tampa Bay Times. “We were laughing and talking when I realized I swallowed it.”

Embarrassed, and assuming she’d only ingested cubic zirconia, Tucker stayed quiet and waited for the winner’s excited scream. None came, and jewelers with probes and a loupe could not find the winner, so Tucker was finally forced to admit what happened.

She already had the colonoscopy scheduled, so she warned her doctor what he might find; he did indeed locate the missing diamond, which was sent to the jewelry store in a biohazard bag, cleaned, and returned to Tucker.

Yikes … Talk about a diamond in the rough!

When the economy sank into ruin, those responsible for running the country into the ground were exempt from facing the consequences of their actions. Yet students sinking into debt to fund their education have been expected to pay back every penny.

If these evil and greedy knowledge seekers, who selfishly want to make something of themselves, can’t pay for their education — they get harassed by creditors, see their credit score fall, and (in many cases) have their wages garnished. In that order.

But wait! Now there’s a solution.

If you’re an “attractive” woman, you can allow someone to exert power over you by letting them cover your expenses in exchange for “companionship.”

SeekingArrangement.com (via WNEM.com), a website for Sugar Daddy seekers, has released a study that shows 15 percent more college students used a sugar daddy in order to graduate debt free last year.   

“College students are attracted to this lifestyle because it’s honest, open, and ultimately beneficial,” says Brandon Wade, Founder and CEO of the site. “Granted, the terms of any mutually beneficial arrangement are uniquely catered. But all enable Sugar Babies to pursue their goals through the generosity of the benefactor.”

This news is great for men, since they usually never have ways of being more powerful than women. Now at least they can exercise control over them in this one small way.

SeekingArrangement.com currently has the tagline:

“12 Girls for Each Guy … Spoil Them and They Spoil You Back”

Susan B. Anthony, that’s catchy!

It also claims to be the “#1 Sugar Daddy Dating Site in the World.” Good Lord, there are others?

Here’s how the site defines Sugar Daddies:

“You may be young or old, single or married, but you are generous and successful. You are seeking a mutually beneficial relationship and you have no time for games.”

And here’s how they define Sugar Babies:

“Sugar babies are attractive, ambitious & young at heart. Sugar babies are college students, aspiring actors and actresses, single moms, or someone just starting out.”

A site exclusively for young girls seeking sugar daddies, and vice versa. How progressive! It’s so great to see how far women have come from the “Mad Men” days in which the men were successful and the women were reduced to how attractive they were.

The site has also released a list of schools that have the biggest spike in “sugar babies.” Maybe the heads of theses institutions will review these new findings and lower their damn prices. Just kidding! That’s never going to happen.

1.       New York University — 201%

2.       Temple University — 207%

3.       Georgia State University — 297%

4.       Kent State University (Ohio) — 197%

5.       Arizona State University — 252%

6.       University of Georgia — 163%

7.       University of Houston — 188%

8.       Florida State University — 240%

9.       University of Wisconsin, Milwaukee — 154%

10.     University of South Florida — 148%

11.     Michigan State University — 243%

12.     Alabama University — 260%

13.     Tulane University — 252%

14.     Penn State University — 158%

15.     Ohio University — 173%

Forget deadly cab drivers, crazy people on the subway, and falling cranes. The Big Apple now has horrifying fish! As if New Yorkers didn’t already have to face 1,000 possible ways to be freaked out during any given day.

NBC NY is reporting that environmental officials will search a Central Park lake this week because it is believed that the snakehead fish, native to China, North Korea and Russia, may be lurking in a man-made marsh.

Signs around the Harlem Meer warn that anyone who sees the fish, nicknamed Fishzilla, should “secure” it and “keep it in a secure container until it is picked up by officials.”

Sorry, but only a crazy person would “secure” one of these things and put it into a giant container. Honestly, the best thing to do would be to KILL IT WITH FIRE. IMMEDIATELY.

But anyway, here are five reasons to avoid what seems like something out of a B horror movie.

1. They can survive on land for days (DAYS!) because they BREATHE FREAKIN’ AIR (LIKE LAND ANIMALS!)

Thought that fish only lived under water? Well apparently you’ve been misled your whole life, and you should hold every science teacher that has been in  your life accountable. The snakehead fish can live out of water for up to four days. Can you say “yikes?”

2. Their slimy little fish bodies can crawl

That’s right, these creepy creatures — who can grow up to three feet long — can use their fins to slither on land and get to water. Oh yeah, and they climb trees too. Are you scared yet? No? Well, you should be.

3. They look like this

4. This National Geographic video of them exists

5. And, did we mention that they LOOK LIKE THIS?!?

Anything that has been dubbed “Frankenfish” simply can’t be good. But in all fairness, there have been no ACTUAL sightings of this thing … yet (at least from people who aren’t looking for them).

Honestly, this could be one of the many ways the media scares the hell out of people. Still, these things are pretty damn freaky!

Okay. At this point, Amanda Bynes‘ public meltdown is getting old, but sadly it’s like an awful glittering, overly made-up car wreck that no one can look away from. The former “All That” star and current psychopath took to Twitter on Thursday to reveal that she has shaved her head. We would gasp but that sounds about right.

For someone that keeps complaining that her privacy has been invaded, Bynes sure loves generating publicity for herself (however negative it is), so it was only a matter of time before she pulled a stunt like this just so that blogs very much like the one you’re reading right now would post about it.

The driving-challenged walking joke posted:

I buzzed half my head like @cassie! No more old photos! This is the new me! I love it! twitpic.com/clx36u

— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) April 25, 2013

The tweet was accompanied by a blurry pic of the star sporting a semi-shaved head and a turtleneck sweater. To be honest, it’s one of the better photos she’s posted but that may just be because the others were just that horrendous.

We’re going to assume that the proclamation “No more old photos!” means that Bynes is still instructing the media not to use photos she doesn’t approve of. Because, as we all know, members of the press typically consult with the Queen of Crazy before they decide what images of her to use.

Since a woman is often reduced to how she looks, celebs in the public eye often go to extreme lengths in order to stay trim. Jessica Alba, who has made a career out of starring in crappy movies and posing for men’s magazines, is no different.

In a recent interview with Net-A-Porter, Alba revealed that she wore a corset for three months to flatter her stomach.

“It was brutal; it’s not for everyone,” she said. “I wore a double corset day and night for three months. It was sweaty, but worth it.”

Believe it or not, this isn’t the first time Alba has undertaken extreme measures to maintain her svelte frame. Last November, Perez Hilton reported that Alba underwent laser liposuction treatment.

And in June 2011, Alba admitted to Lucky magazine that she starved herself to lose the weight she gained during her second pregnancy. At the time, she said, “I have a hard time with portion control, so I have 1,200 calorie meals delivered. But I also work out, so basically I’m starving. It sucks. I drink a lot of water.”

In 2005, after the actress became famous for sought after bod, she told Glamour magazine that she once suffered from an eating disorder. “A lot of girls have eating disorders, and I did too. I got obsessed with it,” Alba revealed.

Alba also has a history of mistakenly thinking she’s larger than she is.

That same year, she told RollingStone: “I hear people in this industry talking shit all the time about how Jennifer Lopez is fat,” she says tersely. “And I know if they’re calling her fat, they’re saying the same shit about me.”

Uhm. Can you say … delusional?

Gwyneth Paltrow must really love pissing people off. When she’s not making eye roll-inducing statements or indirectly telling people to drop thousands of dollars on designer clothing (or promoting the fact that she basically starves her children) — the actress is promoting a line of string bikini’s for little girls.

Since Gwynnie isn’t in movies all that much these days, she has to stay relevant by forcing her extreme diet down people’s throats and promoting the sexualization of children.

Huffpo Style is reporting that the 40-year-old star has caused controversy by featuring the skimpy bathing suits on her lifestyle website GOOP.

Photos on the site feature a little blonde girl posing (in one pic like a Victoria Secret model) sporting the rather sultry-looking bikini, designed by Melissa Odabash. Paltrow wrote that the bikinis are “great for girls who want to look grown-up.” (There she goes making my eye roll again…)

Isn’t it enough that grown women are objectified on a daily basis? Do we really need another thing on the web that will excite pervs? The British anti-child advocacy group Kidscape seems to think so.

A representative for the child safety charity told the Daily Mail, “We remain very opposed to the sexualization of children and of childhood. The dangers have been discussed at length, so it is a great pity that such trends continue and that they carry celebrity endorsement.”

A man from Michigan recently found out he was facing up to 15 years in prison after he was convicted of raping with two of his pet dogs on two separate occasions. The same (unfortunate) person caught him both times.

According to Michigan Live News, 37-year-old Kurtis Peterson, a convicted sex offender, was first caught “penetrating” one of his dogs — a bluee heeler — by a woman named Joyce Yeaw at his apartment in Muskegon, Mich. on his bed in April 2012.

At the time, Peterson told her he was “just hugging his dog.” (Right…) But he was busted again by Joyce just two months later when she was returning keys she borrowed from his roommate, and she walked in on him having sex with his pit bull.

Las Vegas Woman Caught Having Sex with Pit Bull in Her Backyard in Broad Daylight

This time she called the cops (honestly she should have called them the first time…) and Peterson was arrested. Yeaw said, “He was having sex with the dog, it was disgusting.”

Kurtis Peterson’s mugshot

When Peterson was questioned by police, he claimed he was “just playing with the dog” in the April incident, but he became “sexually aroused from accidental contact from the animal’s rear,” which led to the later assault.

It isn’t known whether Peterson sexually assaulted his pets on other occasions, but he was convicted of fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct in 1996 in another Michigan county, so yeah … he probably did. The sick bastard.

Back in March, Peterson pleaded no contest to “the abominable and detestable crime against nature,” also known as sodomy or bestiality, and on Monday (Apr 22), he was handed a one to fifteen year prison term by 14th Circuit Judge Timothy Hicks.

Judge Hicks said that he went above and beyond state guidelines in his ruling because “I fear for what he might do in the community,” and also, Peterson hasn’t been adjusting well to life in jail.

Hicks said since Peterson’s been in jail, “there have been many complaints of unwanted and inappropriate touching,” which literally proves his point.

WTF?!? Did Beyonce get slapped and have her hair pulled during her concert in Serbia last week???

That’s the burning question on the collective minds of the Beyhive, as video footage has emerged of their Queen Bee appearing to be attacked by a rabid “fan” while she walks through the crowd during the opening night of her “Mrs. Carter Show” tour in Belgrade last Monday (Apr 15).

The video footage is extremely blurry, but you can clearly see Beyonce getting struck, and it also looks like her hair was pulled. Beyonce’s longtime bodyguard Julius was present, but everything happened so quickly, even he didn’t know what to do. By the time he realized what had happened, the assailant had probably already ducked back into the crowd.

Of course, being the professional that she is, Beyonce didn’t even miss a beat and kept on performing as if nothing happened.

It isn’t known whether or not the assault against her was deliberate, or an honest mistake, but regardless, Beyonce and her team should maybe re-think the whole walking through the crowd thing. It doesn’t seem too safe.

As for that so-called “fan,” they better watch their back. The Beyhive don’t play.

[H/T: The Rundown]

Chicago Bulls fans have no doubt been missing their star player Derrick Rose do his thing on the court, as the NBA star has been recovering from a serious ACL injury since the 2012 playoffs. But one fan in particular has taken Rose’s injury and him missing the entire 2012 – 2013 NBA season (it isn’t known whether or not he will miss this year’s playoffs too) so seriously that he’s decided to sue the Bulls point guard.

HipHop365 reports that a 25-year-old Peoria, Ill. man named Matthew Thompson, who is a longtime Bulls fan, filed a lawsuit against Derrick Rose last Thursday, claiming that Rose’s lingering injury and extended absence from the team has led to Thompson having several mental breakdowns and suffering from emotional distress, which ultimately led to his current “obesity issues.”

So in other words, Derrick Rose missing this NBA season, and the fact that he will most likely miss this year’s playoffs, after already missing last year’s playoffs, has made Thompson a “fat, depressed, mess,” as Bleacher Report put it.

According to reports, Thompson claims in his lawsuit that Rose is displaying “negligent behavior” by refusing to return to the court, even though team doctors cleared him to play last month.

Despite Rose’s absence from the team, the Bulls managed to make it to the 2013 NBA Playoffs, though they are getting off to a rocky start. They played in New York against the Brooklyn Nets Saturday (Apr 20) and lost, 106 to 89. The Bulls will play again in New York against the Nets tonight at 8 p.m.

Matthew Thompson should be happy the team has at least made it to the playoffs, and him getting fat and being depressed certainly isn’t Derrick Rose’s problem.

It isn’t known whether or not Peoria County, Illinois will take his ridiculous lawsuit seriously, but they definitely shouldn’t.

In sad but true news, a frightening story about modeling scouts recruiting women being treated for eating disorders has emerged.

The Local is reporting that the Stockholm Center for Eating Disorders in Sweden has had to fend off modeling agency recruiters.

“We think this is repugnant. People have stood outside our clinic and tried to pick up our girls because they know they are very thin,” the facility’s chief doctor Anna-Maria was quoted as saying.

So let’s get this straight. Women who are going through an intense program so that they can learn that they don’t have to be super thin to be beautiful just so they can be approached by someone who tells them the exact opposite?

The Local adds:

The last incident took place a year ago, when the clinic was forced to change its procedures for the walks that its patients take. One of the patients who was approached by a scout was so ill she was sitting in a wheelchair at the time.

In one incident, an agent with one of Sweden’s largest modeling agencies approached a 14-year-old girl and left a business card.

Unfortunately, given the state of the fashion industry, this isn’t that surprising. Who could forget the jaw-dropping book that was released earlier this month that was written by a former Vogue Australia editor?

In the book, “The Vogue Factor,” Kristie Clements revealed that some models ate tissues and starved themselves for days to stay super slim.

So there you have it folks. If you want to gorge yourself on Kleenex and have someone think you look beautiful when you’re battling a dangerous illness, get into fashion. They want people like you NOW.

Image via Shutterstock

Jennifer Aniston made an appearance at the premiere of “Call Me Crazy: A Five Film” wearing a trendy ensemble that included cute pumps, black shorts and a black and white top. But it was the circular marks on the star’s back that has had everyone talking for the last few days.

According to E! Online, the marks appear to be the result of cupping therapy, which consists of using “glass bulbs filled with heat” to “remove toxins and ease muscle tension.”

It’s supposed to some ancient Chinese form of alternative medicine, but from the looks of the photos of the procedure published by the Mirror … it looks pretty gross (and very painful) but a lot of famous people with money to burn do it, like Victoria Beckham, Paris Hilton and our frugal friend Gwyneth Paltrow.

As you know, Aniston is currently preparing for her upcoming nuptials to Justin Theroux — a man who needs to apologize to the public for co-writing the steaming train-wreck that is “Rock of Ages.” But I digress.

“Call Me Crazy,” which Aniston directed for Lifetime, stars Jennifer Hudson and will make its debut on April 20.

[H/T: E!]

Growing up in the spotlight as a mega celebrity isn’t easy, but calling attention to yourself with “sexy” cartoon renderings of your likeness kind of makes you a prime target for criticism, like Justin Bieber, for example.

The Biebz took to his Instagram earlier this week and shared some fan art that pleased the Beliebers but made everyone else in the world go, “Whoa there.”

It started with an anime-style drawing of a shirtless Justin Bieber holding a swooning, topless Belieber in his arms that Justin posted on Instagram.

Because Justin Bieber still attracts a pretty young fan base, observers thought that the picture was in poor taste, since it looked like they were cuddling after a good lay.

But the Biebs is like the Honey Badger: He don’t give a fuck.

So he hit the Instagrammers with another piece of fan art, which featured him shirtless and ripped again, but this time coming out of the shower.

For those clamoring for the real thing, the Biebs also posted a real shirtless pic of himself working out.

Hey, other than “WTF” … what can you say? He gives his fans what they want.

Well this is an interesting dilemma: Is it worse to be considered a child molester or a racist? One Texas teacher opted to out herself as the latter to avoid being pegged as the former.

Esther Irene Stokes, 61, was charged with inappropriately touching a 6-year-old girl at the Northwest Preparatory Academy Charter School in Humble, Texas.

“The victim said that she was in the classroom alone with the teacher and that the teacher touched her on the outside of her clothes, on what she called her ‘private part,’ her vaginal area,” a detective told KHOU.

The whole incident came to light when the girl’s mother was watching an episode of “Law & Order,” which dealt with molestation.

“[While watching the show] I start telling my kids, if anyone touch you like that let me know,” the mother told KHOU. That’s when her daughter burst out crying and confessed that her teacher had touched her inappropriately.

But Stokes claims she’s innocent because she’s actually a racist and generally tries to avoid touching black children.

The girl’s mother, however, says that claim is utter bullshit because the school is majority black, so if Stokes had a problem with black children, it’s highly unlikely she’d work at that particular school in the first place.

Despite Stokes’ attempt to deflect the charges by claiming racism, the school has decided to terminate her after completing an internal investigation.

[Gawker]

Earlier today, several major news outlets — including the Associated Press, CNN, Fox News and many others — reported that a suspect had been arrested in the Boston Marathon bombing incident killed 3 people and injured 176 others on Monday.

But now the FBI and Boston police are denouncing those reports, saying that even though they have “identified a suspect,” NO ARRESTS HAVE BEEN MADE as of yet, which has everyone scratching their heads going “huh?”

Here’s the FBI’s full statement:

Contrary to widespread reporting, no arrest has been made in connection with the Boston Marathon attack. Over the past day and a half, there have been a number of press reports based on information from unofficial sources that has been inaccurate. Since these stories often have unintended consequences, we ask the media, particularly at this early stage of the investigation, to exercise caution and attempt to verify information through appropriate official channels before reporting.

According to the New York Times, investigators believe they have video footage of a man who they believe may have planted the bombs, but he hasn’t been identified by name.

Meanwhile, CBS News is reporting that the “possible suspect” is a “WHITE MALE, wearing white baseball cap on backwards, gray hoodie and black jacket.”

JUST IN: Man sought as possible suspect is WHITE MALE, wearing white baseball cap on backwards, gray hoodie and black jacket.

— CBS News (@CBSNews) April 17, 2013

The FBI is pleading with the public to submit all photos, videos and any other evidence they may have gathered before and after the attack occurred at around 2:50 pm Monday.

Amanda Bynes is the new Lindsay Lohan. She’s the train wreck we can’t look away from. So of course I’m totally entranced by her new viral video in which she sucks on a Sour Patch Kid and makes faces.

telly.com/FFDMTH – I’m Sucking On A Sour Patch Kid Listening To Music Getting Ready For Tonight :D ????

— Amanda Bynes (@AmandaBynes) April 15, 2013

Honestly, there isn’t a whole lot of explaining here that can top the magic of above. Amanda Bynes exists on a completely different plane from the rest of us.

Who else can give you a seizure face like this bitch? That’s what I call method acting.

Also, I guess the chola look is here for good? I’m cool with it. Tropicana Orange has always been my favorite skin color and the straw-yellow hair is giving me Anna Nicole Smith sex appeal.

Sour Patch Kids better come quick with that sponsorship too, before Sour Skittles snatches Amanda’s brand halo with the quickness.

Who knew a simple kids toy could incite life-threatening violence?

Huff Post Crime is reporting that 35-year-old Efrain Burgos-Delgado pulled a gun on a 16-year-old boy in order to steal his remote control car. The puzzling incident took place in Kissimmee, Florida on Saturday evening (Apr 13).

If that’s not enough, after the perp stole the car, he came back and robbed the boy of his cell phone.

So why on earth did this man go to such great lengths to steal something that he could have bought for $19.99 – $39.99 ($59.49 if you want to be fancy) on Amazon? Authorities say Delgado quickly sold the toy in order to buy drugs.

So if you thought you couldn’t buy cocaine with a used kids toy, you were mistaken.

Of course he probably sold the car and used the money to score a fix, but it’s funny to think of a man paying for illegal substances with a toy.

Unfortunately for Mr. Delgado, there’s nothing funny about the charges he’s facing, which includes armed robbery, aggravated assault, false imprisonment, grand theft, dealing in stolen property, petty theft and resisting without violence.

[Huffpo Crime via Sun-Sentinel]

This story is almost a month old … but who cares? THIS SH*T IS NUTS! (No pun intended)

A prostitute — who probably calls herself an “escort” in her listing on Backpage.com (think Craigslist, but for hookers) — was arrested and charged with attempted murder back in March after she nearly bit a man’s penis off during a sexual encounter at an Orange County Hotel in Florida.

Now, after reading that line, I’m sure you have a few questions running through that innocent little inquiring mind of yours.

First off, did the woman look like that mugshot before or after the man agreed to pay her for sex?

Secondly, what. the. f*ck?

To answer those burning questions, here’s how it all went down, according to the Orlando Sentinel:

Deputies were called to the Crestwood Suites on University Boulevard after multiple 911 callers “reported screaming and growling sounds from a room on the second floor” of the hotel.

They arrived to find the victim “covered in a significant amount of blood, with numerous bite wounds,” the report states. He was rushed to the Orlando Regional Medical Center trauma center.

The man had “significant” bites to his penis and testicles, the report states, as well as damage to his leg, abdomen, chest and fingers.

His alleged attacker, Priscilla Vaughn, “was nude, and had blood around her mouth, which had spread to her face and head,” the report states, adding Vaughn “growled and snarled” at deputies.

The victim later told deputies his attacker was an escort he’d hired for Monday evening. After dinner, they returned to her hotel room, where they drank alcohol and Vaughn used Ecstasy, the report states.

During consensual sex, the escort “became more aggressive, and she began to bite his genitals. He described it as if she were trying to eat his penis and testicles,” the report says.

The victim tried to get away, the report states, but Vaughn “was too powerful and he could not get her off of him.” She also took his cell phone away when he tried to call for help, the report says.

The Sentinel is not naming the victim because of the sexual nature of the crime.

When deputies searched the room later, they found “a significant amount of blood, knocked over furniture, and strewn belongings,” as well as a sex toy that had been severely damaged by bite marks.

“The damage to the toy indicates a desire to cause severe damage,” the report says, adding it appeared the damage to the toy was done prior to the attack.

In addition to a second-degree temporary murder charge, 29-year-old Priscilla Vaughn also reportedly faces charges of false imprisonment and tampering with the victim’s ability to contact law enforcement. She was jailed without bail.

[Orlando Sentinel]

Once upon a time, sex tapes were a way for people that no one cared about to generate publicity for themselves. That’s not so much the case anymore because sex tapes are old news and seldom shock people. Apparently, Farrah Abraham from MTV’s “Teen Mom” didn’t get that memo and has decided to star in one alongside porn star turned legit actor James Deen.

Deen told TMZ that rumors of a sex tape between the two are in fact true: “Word travels fast … it isn’t even edited yet. We shot it yesterday [Mon. Apr 8].”

“The Canyons” star also addressed speculation that he and Farah are an item … because sometimes when two people have sex on camera, people can jump to the drastic conclusion that they’re an item.

Deen said, “Definitely not dating. Got tested together on Friday and then saw her on set. That is my only experience with the lady.”

How romantic!

On Monday, TMZ reported that Farrah’s 30 minute sex tape is being shopped around to various porn companies.

Steve Hirsch of Vivid told the site, “It’s amazing … and I’m doing everything in my power to get the rights to put it out.”

Deen revealed that Farrah was initially going to pass footage off as a leaked sex tape but failed miserably.

“I think what happened is that [the porn company was] going to pass it off as a ‘sex tape’ and somebody saw us coming out of a building together and people asked me what’s going on … so I was like we’re making a porno!”

We can’t wait ……. until this whole thing goes away.

When some people go into they bedroom, they fantasize about making love to a hot celebrity, like a Boris Kodjoe for the ladies or a Kim Kardashian for the fellas. But one woman would rather get it on with Popeyes fried chicken.

Steve Harvey hosted a bizarre segment on his talk show in which a white woman expressed her admiration and lust for Popeye’s fried chicken.

“Well, food excites me, and I mean it excites me. If he’s not doing what he’s supposed to in there, I start thinking, ‘Popeyes spicy, Popeyes spicy, Popeyes spicy,’ and it gets me where I need to be,” she said. “Is it weird that just the thought of Popeyes spicy chicken gets me to climax?”

Well, not necessarily … but it does mean that ol’ girl will have no trouble surviving in any inner city or landing a black man as a lover. I could imagine this woman doing Beyonce’s “Dance for You” routine in front of a bucket of Popeye’s chicken in fact.

See and everybody wants to act like black folks are the only ones who like fried chicken.

Yeeeeeeeaaaahhh!!!!

[Gawker]