True Blood Season 6 Episode 3 Recap: “You’re No Good”

Last night’s episode of “True Blood” brought a few old characters out of the woodwork and planted seeds that will no doubt sprout into classic TB epicness!

Eric the Heartthrob Kidnapper

In the third episode of “True Blood” Season 6, Eric returns to doing what he does best, managing to be seductive and utterly terrifying at the same time. He prepares to slowly kill the Governor Burrell’s daughter Willa but just as she’s about to face death by crotch bite (yikes!), she informs Eric that there have been experiments going on involving vampires. And whaddya know, she happens to be a Vampire rights advocate, who actually hates what her father is doing.

Eric kidnaps her in order to gather more information and she’s more than happy to provide him with it. Apparently, the Governor and his team have been holding vamps captive and conducting “sick” experiments on them. While the show typically explores issues and themes that are comparable to the Civil and Gay Rights movements, this evokes aspects of the Holocaust.

Against Pam’s wishes, Eric decides to keep Willa as a hostage. They share a coffin together and everything!

This prompts Pam to snap, “You and your human, sitting up in a coffin. It’s like goddamn Sookie all over again!” Oh Pam, how we’ve missed you.

Eric get the bleeds and blood protrudes from his ear. This excites Willa, whose mother had an affair with a vamper. (She’s a total fang banger!) For this reason, and the fact that her kidnaper’s a hot undead Swede, she dips her finger in Eric’s blood and attempts to lick it from her fingertips … but he stops her.

Gone is the Eric who tricked Sookie into drinking his blood so that she would have raunchy dreams about him or the Eric who chained his conquests up in his basement for an all day romp.

Jagged Little Bill

As we discovered last week, Bill is plagued by horrific visions of the future in which his vampire compadres are burned to death. He believes (per his conversation with Lilith) that it is his job to prevent this from happening. And for dramatic effect, he refuses to wipe away the gooey blood tears under his eyes. That’s so Bill.

Later, he believes that he’ll be able to walk in the sunlight, but he’s sadly mistaken. After being able to endure it momentarily, he bursts into flames. Womp womp.

Bill instructs Jessica to visit the professor who invented True Blood and to “dress inappropriately” in order to appeal to his weakness for young women. Boy does she listen.

Bill’s plan is to synthesize fairy blood and he needs the pervy professor to do it. He also needs a fairy. He visits Sookie (Anna Paquin) at her home and asks for her blood. When she refuses, he’s able to enter her home even though she doesn’t invite him in.

But just because she’s taken aback by Bill’s newfound power, doesn’t mean she doesn’t say things like, “You’re not God, you’re just as asshole.” Remember when those two were inseparable lovers? Well, those days are now over.

There’s some “War of the Roses” style plate throwing on Sookie’s part but Bill has is also impervious to flying kitchen items. When Sookie decides to uphold her ‘my blood in not for drinking’ policy, the ever so intense Bill says, “You’re dead to me Sookie Stackhouse” and (surprise!) she doesn’t give a shit.

Meet the New Newlin

As it turns out, Steve Newlin (Michael McMillian) is being held in Gov. Burrell’s camp and guess who’s at the helm of his capture? His cray cray conservative wife Sarah (Anna Camp), and she is pissed. Not only did her onetime vamp hating husband become a member of the undead, he also likes boys now! If there’s one character that’s super doomed, it’s Steve Newlin. Their hilarious exchange is the episode’s highlight.

Fairy Tales

Handsome fairy boy Ben is back and it turns out Sookie is able to feel him in her head. Does this mean they’re a match made in fairy heaven or does it mean he has the power to do something terrible?

Bill runs into Andy, who is “enforcing” the vampire curfew, and is intrigued when he discovers that Andy has children. Based on the way he takes in the scent of Andy’s children, it’s pretty clear that Bill knows they’re fairies. He is so going to try and get himself some fairy blood!

Other Important Moments

Is it just me, or does it seem as though the werewolf storyline is mostly an excuse to keep Alcide on the show? That said, the wolves are definitely the bad guys this year and it’s looking like shifters are the good guys.

The snooze-inducing storyline of Emma’s kidnapping at the hands of the wolfpack appears to be over when Sam (who shifts into a owl) and Nicole (Jurnee Smollett-Bell) intervene.

Remember the overly glamored (and kind of … “slow”) Fangtasia employee Ginger? She also resurfaces when Eric, his captive, Pam, and Tara all lie low at her place. Sadly, they have to bid farewell to our beloved Fangtasia.

What Lies Ahead

While some critics and fans have argued that the episode was weak, others believe that it’s setting the show up for something big. Perhaps episode three is simply the calm before a bloody storm?