So… this happened yesterday:

Well, as you can tell, Birdman totally fudged the Twitter announcement up because he didn’t properly put a space between “Welcome” and “@ParisHilton” … but regardless, we all got the point. And that ain’t fair, but they don’t care, Paris Hilton is a Cash Money millionaire.

I guess that cameo she had in Rich Gang’s “Tap Out” video makes a bit more sense now, but the fact that I was able to put together the sentence that precedes this one, and it’s actually the truth, makes no sense. At all. Not even a little bit.

According to HuffPo Entertainment:

Paris Hilton has signed with Cash Money Records and is working on a house music album that will supposedly be released this summer.

Hilton broke the news to Showbiz411 at a party in Cannes, where the heiress is because she’s an actress or filmmaker supporting “The Bling Ring,” a Sofia Coppola movie about the pretty girl crime syndicate that burglarized Hilton in real life. (The movie was filmed in part at Hilton’s home.)

Showbiz 411 says that Hilton will join Drake and Nicki Minaj, so it’s likely she’s actually signing with Young Money Entertainment, a subsidiary of Cash Money.

Hilton also claims Dutch house producer Afrojack is helping her out, an interesting tidbit given that the two were previously rumored to be dating. Hilton was a constant presence on his tour and in his “Afrojet,” but the producer is now said to be dating DJ Bambi.

“This is a lot different than my first album,” Paris said. “It’s really going to be house music.”

For the uninitiated (lucky you!), Paris Hilton’s first foray into the all too welcoming world of music came in 2006, when she released her debut solo self-titled album Paris, which reached the top 10 on the Billboard albums chart, but received mixed reviews.

Hilton also collaborated with Lil Wayne last year for an EDM (Electronic Dance Music) track produced by the aforementioned Afrojack called “Last Night (I Wanna Bang You).” It was (unsurprisingly) awful.

Nothing but good things — and herpes, lots and LOTS of herpes — can come from this meticulously planned union of Paris Hilton’s aural diarrhea and Birdman’s business savvy.

Meanwhile, your favorite struggle rapper is working overtime in the trap-house so he (or she; equal opportunity, people…) can earn enough money to pay for a post on WorldStarHipHop in the hopes that maybe, just maybe, their favorite rapper will notice them and take them under their wing, much like what YMCMB is doing with PH (imbalance).

I think it’s safe to say Hip-Hop is officially dead now. πŸ™

R.I.P. Hip-Hop: 1970’s – May 22, 2013

It was fun while it lasted y’all…