The most twisted love triangle in reality television is back and in living color. Joseline, Mimi and Stevie J jumped right back into shark-infested waters in the explosive premiere of season 2 of “Love & Hip Hop Atlanta.”
When we last left the three love birds to stew in their mess at the end of the first season of LHHA, Mimi had made the decision to end it with Stevie for good. Well, apparently “for good” means different things to different people because for some reason, Mimi opens up the second season sitting in Stevie’s bed in the morning with their daughter Eva.
As if that visual alone wasn’t shocking enough, Mimi then goes on and announces that she’s decided she’s going to MOVE IN with Stevie and live as a family again.
What in the…?
If you ever shed a tear or empathized over Mimi’s plight, don’t waste your energy again. She wants the shit that she gets from Stevie.
The most insulting part is that she tries to couch her decision on the pathetic basis that living with Stevie is important because it’ll prevent their daughter from being around Joseline. Bitch, you can’t stop that whether you live in or outside of Stevie’s house. If Stevie takes his daughter out and meets up with Joseline, what will you do then?
You might have been screaming and yelling at your TV at this point for Mimi to get it together. But don’t worry, Ms. Joseline came and got her together real quick.
Joseline paid an unexpected visit to Stevie’s house in hooker boots, a sickening mermaid weave, booty shorts and a push-up bra. Truth be told, she did look like a girl working the night shift, if you catch my drift.
But she strolled right up in that kitchen and peeped Mimi in her bedraggled t-shirt and sweatpants and deadpanned, “Hey, maid. I see you got yo maid outfit on like you always do.”
As if that wasn’t enough, she then went on to give Mimi’s alterego an official name: Molly the Maid.
Once Joseline was done antagonizing the shit out of Mimi, she coolly stepped out of the building and went about her business.
Mimi, meanwhile, lost her fucking shit and started screeching at Stevie for letting his “bitch” disrespect her. Um, dumbass, you’re the one who moved into Stevie’s house knowing damn well what it is between him and Joseline. He didn’t disrespect you, you disrespected yourself when you decided you wanted a second tour of duty with him.
Sidenote: The fight between Mimi and Stevie gets scary violent as Mimi launches full-scale assault. She attempts to bite him (hey, Mike Tyson!), throws water at him and smacks him around. Say what you will about Stevie, but Mimi is really nobody’s role model. She’s one sick puppy who needs help, healing and a hug.
Erica and Scrappy Step in the Name of Love
There was one person who got her heart stomped on in the most brutal way last season on LHHA: Shay “Buckeey” Johnson. After spending all of last season being Lil’ Scrappy’s “best friend,” Shay just knew her ass would get upgraded to the big house.
Scrappy led her on to believe that Erica had been banished to nothing more than babymamadom for good. But then Scrap went on the reunion show and proposed to his babymama Erica Dixon much to Shay’s dismay.
When the cameras catch up with Scrappy and Erica, life is good.
Erica has the ring she’s been searching for along with the commitment. “It’s official like a whistle. Wait till you see the wedding,” Erica says.
Scrappy has moved back and in and he’s going through some of his clothes as he unpacks. Erica expresses concern at Scrappy’s “lavish” lifestyle and begs him to stick to a clothing budget. By the way she’s crying, you’d think this fool was wearing Marc Jacobs from head to toe. But naw, he got that Southpole and shit that you see at Marshall’s, so I don’t even know why she’s trippin’.
After we briefly check in on the happy couple, the cameras turn to the sad, little lonely girl, Shay.
Left to her own devices, Shay struggles to make sense of where and how it all went wrong for her and Scrappy. So she decides to seek help and guidance from Momma Dee and her poodle.
I know what you’re thinking: Who the hell would ever seek wisdom from an illiterate buffoon like Momma Dee? But you’ve gotta understand, Shay’s biggest achievement in life thus far has been dry humping and making out with washed-up ’80s rapper and serial babydaddy Flavor Flav. Her whole life has been nothing more than an unfortunate series of lowered expectations.
So in her feeble mind, Momma Dee is a beacon of light. Jesus be a dictionary and a Rosetta Stone though, cause Momma Dee’s monologues make about as much sense as the Chinese lady at the carryout trying to take your order.
In short, Momma Dee assures Shay that she shouldn’t cry over lostng Scrappy because he’ll be back with her shortly. “A change is gonna come,” she warns in her Gargamel voice.
I’m not sure who’s scarier, Cruella DeVil or Momma Dee, but I have a feeling Momma Dee is just as capable at wearing living creatures as fur coats as Cruella.
K. Michelle’s Got a Problem
The problem child of LHHA hasn’t changed one bit in this new season. Although the fame and popularity that the LHHA platform has provided her has landed her a new record deal with Warner Bros., she’s still not satisfied.
Word about Ariane’s radio interview in which she confessed to having sex with Memphitz, K. Michelle’s ex who she accused of domestic violence, has reached K’s ears and she’s none too happy about it. She feels that Ariane should’ve never kept the fact that she slept with Memphitz a secret. So she feels “betrayed” by Ariane.
But wait, K. Michelle isn’t even dating Memphitz, so why is any of this relevant? He’s married and moved on with his life. When will she?
Ariane and Mimi head over to Erica’s party and when they arrive, K. Michelle is there acting up and fussin’. She exchanges pleasantries but Ariane boldly takes the first stab at breaking the ice.
Cutting straight to the chase, Ariane asks K. Michelle why she’s mad. K explains that she didn’t like the radio interview and before you know it, the two of them start giggling and both reaffirming each other by saying, “I fucks with you.” Classy.
The two girls quickly hug it out and move on from the beef. You might be tempted to assume that K. Michelle has matured, but I really think K. Michelle never cared that Ariane slept with Memphitz. Like I said, they’ve been over for a long time so romantic feelings couldn’t have played much of a role here. This strictly another opportunity for K. Michelle to fuss and fight with somebody. It’s in her contract, she has to do it.
And frankly, I wouldn’t have it any other way.