Rashidah, aka Clifford the Big Red Dog, wasn’t much of a presence during the third season of “Love and Hip Hop,” but she sure came to life during the reunion special.
Mona Scott-Young, the creator and producer of the “Love and Hip Hop” series, sat on her throne as the queen of ratchet TV and she unleashed her hound Rashidah first on the masses.
She dug right in to the relationship between Rashidah and Yandy’s baby daddy Mendeecees. If you’ll recall, Mendeecees blabbed to Winter that Rashidah was one of his ex jumpoffs. That was unfortunately news to Yandy and when Rashidah caught wind of it, her Kool-Aid colored hair was about ready to turn lava orange.
On the reunion show, Rashidah confirmed that she and Mendeecees used to sleep together and she rudely said that she didn’t know why Mendeecees was being their sex life up since he “has the smallest penis” she has ever seen on a human being. In the words of that 90’s jam: “Don’t want no short dick man.”
Hot damn. How low is it to insinuate something that would do damage if he proved or disproved it? Leaking a few dick pics would get Mendeecees free and clear but then he’d have to suffer the embarrassment of having been exposed on the world wide web. But if he doesn’t dispute the remarks, then Big Red gets away with minimizing his manhood.
How about this: Maybe Rashidah’s cavernous snatch was too damn big. Did she ever think about that?
Yandy might face some tough questions when Mendeecees gets home though. She didn’t even defend her man in the least bit. A good woman would’ve bluffed and said, “Bitch, I don’t know what you talkin’ bout. My man got that salami, girl.”
Instead, Yandy was more interested in snatching Winter’s highlighted wig for runnin’ and tellin’ dat with Rashidah in the first place.
“Don’t call him your friend,” Yandy hollered at the wicked witch of the L line. But Winter just smiled and waved back like the wicked stepmother from Snow White. Ice cold.
Nobody Likes Raqi
One is the loneliest number and it’s the only number that Raqi is knowing these days. After Rashidah scratched Yandy up, she went right in on Miss Raqi.
Mona tried to get to the bottom of their beef but things got so heated between Rashidah and Raqi that Mona had to step in to simmer things down. But whoa there, Raqi got a little too big for her britches when she told Mona to chill. Mama Scott-Young almost had to kill a bitch.
After her life flashed before her eyes when Mona turned her ice gaze on her, Raqi recomposed herself and explained that she and Rashidah had an encounter in which she confronted Rashidah about the rumors on the street about her being a scam artist. Well, Rah didn’t take too kindly to that characterization and there’s been bad blood ever since.
Mona pointed out that during the season, Raqi fought with Tahiry, Joe, Jen, Consequence and Rashidah. The only messy bitch she didn’t scrap with was Winter and frankly, she might not’ve been able to take Winter’s sneaky ways. That bitch knows how to knife a girl real good when she least expects it.
Joe Humiliates His Ex-Girlfriend Kaylin for Tahiry, and then Plays Tahiry for Kaylin
Joe Budden’s wacky, wild, wretched love triangle wove its messy spell on viewers this season and that carried on when Mona invited Joe’s mousey ex-girlfriend to get up there on national TV and explain how it felt to have her man choose his ex over her.
Kaylin was strong for all of about five seconds before she broke down in tears on the couch.
This girl is weeping over a man who strung her along, made her homeless and made a mockery of their relationship from the jump. But she’s up there claiming her undying love and affection.
Why on earth…? Oh wait. What’s that Mona? You’ve got a lie detector test that you’re going to put Joe through?
Turns out that during the lie detector test, Joe admitted that he was still smashing Kaylin even after he decided to try and make it work with Tahiry. Oh snap, what a reversal. Now Tahiry’s the one looking assed out.
At this rate, Joe Budden is headed for his own Ray J-esque spinoff. He’s playing all these tricks and they can’t say no.
Erica Mena Is Crazy in Love
The fiery Latina lover and the semi-successful producer have dragged us to hell and back with this whole stupid, twisted relationship melodrama. The problem really was that Rich had to choose his boo thang, Erica, over his friends. And his mama and Olivia are still pissed as hell about it.
Erica sat there with her big ass shoulderpads in her Tweetybird-yellow dress bucking and knucking at teveryone she could. Even Rich’s mama. But Mama Rich hollered from her bowels that the producers should turn off her mic. They never did, but I can assure you that several members of the audience wet themselves in fear of her intimidating, commanding voice.
Has she thought about a career in a women’s prison? Cause Mama Rich Dollaz can scare a bitch.
When Erica wasn’t boohooing over her undying love for Rich, she was squabbling with Olivia, who was sporting a very depressing, red, Halloween-looking wig.
Mona Scott-Young helped Olivia bury Erica’s ass though when she challenged Erica Mena to sing her version of the Rich Dollaz-produced track she loved so much, “Where Do I Go from Here?”
Knowing that her throat would sound like some refried bean-style hot mess, Erica declined. So Mona passed the mic to Olivia and she killed it with ease.
Be seated, Erica, and stay in your lane. Olivia might be a perpetual flop, but she at least offers the world something more than her hot pussy.
But let’s not underestimate the power of pussy. Kingdoms have crumbled over its influence before. Which begs the question: Will Rich be able to resist going back to Erica forever?
After the results of her lie detector proved she was still in love with Erica, don’t be surprised if Rich and Erica come back together Joe and Tahiry-style.