Mitt Romney deserves one bit of kudos. After essentially sabotaging his campaign with those dreadful 47 percent remarks, he managed to claw back a comeback when President Obama failed to really show up in that first presidential debate.
But thankfully, Obama has since come roaring back, going toe to toe with Romney and hitting the Mittster right where it hurts several times during the debates.
According to the most recent poll data, if you’re black, you’re already likely to vote for President Obama. In fact, pretty much every minority group is throwing their weight behind Obama.
The only group that’s staunchly in the trenches for Mitt Romney are white males.
HA! And people complain about blacks voting for Obama because of identity politics….
White men overwhelmingly support Mitt Romney’s candidacy with one poll finding that 65 percent of white men are rooting for Romney over Obama. But dudes, here are a few good reasons to NOT VOTE for Mitt Romney.
1. Mitt Romney Looks Like Jonah Jameson, Peter Parker’s Boss
Spider-Man is pretty much every little boy’s hero and Jonah Jameson, the boss of his human alter ego Peter Parker, is nothing but a chain-smoking, pompous, arrogrant prick who tries to tear Spider-Man down with the might of his platform, The Daily Bugle. And Mitt Romney looks just like him. Don’t vote for the man who’d try to stamp out Spider-Man, if given the chance!
2. Mitt Romney Makes Babies Cry
Babies know how to sense corporate greed and evil when they’re around it, and many people don’t want another whiff of that load of horseshit. It’s funny that despite his pro-abortion stance, Mitt Romney = the anti-baby candidate.
3. Mitt Romney Farts on the Kids
We know Romney is full of hot air, but that’s no excuse for passing gas in front of innocent children. He’s a lil’ McNasty, as the Fresh Prince of Bel Air would say.
4. Mitt Romney Kisses with His Eyes Open
When Mitt Romney wants to lay a lil’ lovin’ on his Stepford wife, Ann, he can’t even be bothered to get into it and close his eyes. He probably has sex with the lights on too. If he can’t even trust his wife while getting intimate, do we really want to trust Mitt Romney with the most intimate secrets of America? Perhaps not.
5. Mitt Romney Is Not Opposed to Child Labor
So we complain about China and its child labor abuse, but here Mitt Romney is, putting small children to work for his campaign. Mitt made it clear that he wants to shut down Sesame Street and now we know why: He wants to put America’s children to work.
White men of America, please don’t make the mistake of jumping on board the Romney bandwagon. Trust us, the Obama train has better finger foods, free coffee and better celebrities.
Romney is riding dirty with that bumbling old fool Clint Eastwood, while Obama is pulling in sexy white bitches like Katy Perry.
Seriously, bro. Which election party would YOU rather be at on Tuesday night? Make the right call.