“Basketball Wives L.A.” Recap: Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies Even Closer
It took 6 damn episodes, but now we’re finally starting to get into the meat of this season of “Basketball Wives L.A.” Jackie Christie has been at the center of every single episode of this season and Laura Govan has curiously played a snakeish role throughout the season.
To Jackie’s face, she plays the part of the truth-telling sister who can cry on her shoulder. To the other girls, Laura trashes Jackie and her crazy old lady ways without remorse.
In episode 6, Laura reveals that she is purposely playing a two-faced game with Jackie in a bid to keep her friends close and her enemies closer. You get the feeling that Laura thinks she’s being slick and that the audience will be like, “Oooh, girl! You got her good!”
But she comes off looking just as crazy as she claims Jackie is.
Who runs around pretending to be a crazy person’s friend just to mess with them and get “revenge”? Doesn’t Laura have children to raise and husbands to steal? Dang. Let Jackie Christie breathe.
Speaking of letting things breathe, Jackie Christie probably had her diaphragm on its deathbed when she rolled up to Bambi’s concert in her spanx and Cap ‘n’ Crunch best.
There needs to be a law about women over 40 wearing pantsless outfits. This is not good for anyone’s eye sight.
Bambi Loves Her Some Auntie Jackie
For the newest bitch in the circle, Bambi sure is acting mad familiar. Unlike the other girls, Malaysia’s ride or die bitch Bambi is all about Jackie Christie.
She’s drawn to her old lady madness and when Draya and Jackie got to scrapping at the beginning of the episode, Bambi cried out, “How you gon’ fight auntie?!” Like her spirit was hurt beyond this ratchet middle aged woman having her card pulled.
So after the throwdown with Draya, Bambi quickly arranges a lunch date with Jackie to talk about what happened. Dang, Bambi picks up quick on these chicks’ tactics.
At the lunch, Jackie blathers on and on about disrespect and how she’s had it up to here with Draya. Bambi, meanwhile, practically swoons at the table and giggles like a school girl.
Does Bambi have a thing for ol’ wolf pussy Jackie? Cause we could swear she’s falling in love.
Despite just meeting Bambi, Jackie invites her to be a bridesmaid in her wedding.
What in the crazy fuck? We know that weddings hold absolutely no sacred meaning to Jackie, but damn, can she at least get to know Bambi’s government name before she invites to be a member of her wedding party?
But Jackie ain’t got time for that, she’s too excited for Bambi’s performance at the club. Her middle-aged ass can’t wait to pop, lock and drop it with the rest of these spring chickens.
Bambi’s performance was crunk and sexy. Like Ciara back in 2002. But let’s hope she has more longevity than CiCi’s had.
Jackie was doing her thing with her drink and her two-step with shady Laura and Malaysia in the VIP section, but then she randomly burst into tears talkin’ bout she missed her mother. Apparently, a street, thuggish bitch rapping in hot pink booty shorts triggers memories of the good times with her mother.
Was Jackie’s mama Frankie’s (Keyshia Cole’s mama) sister? Cause the ratchet is sounding kind of familiar.
Malaysia and Laura chalk up Jackie’s water works to being a ploy for attention. Which is probably true. But damn, couldn’t she just do desperately embarrassing sexual dance moves in the club like all the other thirsty bitches on reality TV? Sobbing always breaks the mood at a good party.
Draya Can’t Take No More
The other half of this drama revolves around Draya deciding that she’s finally going to stand up for herself. Jackie, she argues, has disrespected her.
Okay, but since when has Draya cared this much about being in high dignity and esteem? Isn’t this the same chick who made her fame and fortune sucking off famous dudes? Now she wants to demand that R-E-S-P-E-C-T like her name is Khia. C’mon now.
So yeah, Jackie and Draya are like the Tupac and Biggie of the “Basketball Wives of L.A.” They can’t stand each other but they can’t stop referencing each other either.
Not even when the kids are around!
When Brooke and Draya meet up with their respective broods for a playdate, this is refreshing because a.) We get to see these tricks do something besides sip on a drink and bite into a cobb salad and b.) We get to see them actually act as mothers.
Those kids are being babysat 90 percent of the team by grandma, so it’s good to see these chicks take a little responsibility.
But they can’t help but keep the Jackie stuff going, so they take a break to rehash all the same, stale drama on the trampolines.
Hey, at least Draya and Brooke have moved on from that King shoot incident.
Draya’s son, who was reportedly suffering from neglect when he lived in Philadelphia with Draya back in the day, looks happy and healthy, so it appears that Draya has gotten her act together as a mother.
Laura’s Plot Thickens
Jackie Christie may be a lot of things — crazy, delusional, controlling and touched — but she’s nobody’s fool.
Sensing that Laura hasn’t been completely genuine with her, Jackie confronts Laura about her talking about her behind her back. Hot damn! Jackie knows when smoke is being blown up her ass.
Laura plays it cool though and tells Jackie that whatever she says, she tells Jackie to her face. Which is a half truth. She tells Jackie the “mean things” that she knows Jackie will laugh off.
Then Laura coaches Jackie on how she should’ve fought Draya. Meanwhile, when she’s with Draya, she’s kiki-ing it up with her and laughing about how crazy Jackie is.
Who’s phony? Who’s fake?
Jackie, unfortunately, believes Laura and hugs it out with her “sister,” thinking she really has a true friend in the formerly plump Govan sister.
But thanks to the activity on Twitter, we can piece together that Laura’s attempt to turn Jackie and Draya against each other might backfire. The two appear to be on the mend on Twitter.
@jackiechristie it’s ok Jackie.Fuck twitter
— Draya Michele (@DrayaFace) October 12, 2012
So Laura had better watch her back. You never know when the tables will turn on this show.