People do really crazy things when they get drunk. Take this guy for example. He was arrested last week (on the evening of the Fourth of July) after he caught a DUI charge.

Apparently, 42-year-old David James Herzog was 100% convinced he could pass a DUI test after eating two chickens, six wings, two racks of ribs and a cheeseburger. (No really, this is what he told police!)

But Herzog didn’t pass the test. And not only that, but after cops pulled him over (following a woman calling 911 and telling them a “fat ass cracka” was “trying to buy dope”), they discovered that he was in the middle of getting a “sexual favor.”

Once cops asked him to stepped out of the vehicle, Herzog complied, and “his blue jean shorts immediately fell to the floor, exposing his white underwear,” the report states. “The driver apologized, chuckled, and said, ‘Told you, I was tryin’ to get a blow job!'”

Herzog, who police say reeked of alcohol, gave them his license, and told the officers that he had downed 10 to 12 Budweisers in 6 hours. His exact words were: “I’m way too f**ked up to drive … but I really wanted to have sex.”

The responding officer then asked Herzog where he had been earlier in the evening, and he told them that he had picked up a hooker at a bar, which is where he says he received a “sexual favor” from said hooker.

“He advised that he picked up a prostitute at the bar, received a sexual favor in the parking lot and then agreed to drive her to a crack house that she was familiar with (near North 21st Street and Avenue G),” the report states. “Herzog stated that she promised him another sexual act in return for driving her to buy crack cocaine.”

But Herzog says the prostitute got out of his truck and never came back.

He also performed field sobriety tests and agreed to a breathalyzer to determine his blood alcohol content, at one point saying, “I’m too drunk for this, officer.”

Right before the breathalyzer test, Herzog told police he had eaten two chickens, six wings, two racks of ribs and a cheeseburger … and he just knew he would pass the test because he had eaten “a ton of food.”

Of course Herzer was wrong in his thought process and subsequently failed the breathalyzer test, which showed that his BAC was .213, more than twice the legal limit of 0.08.

It goes without saying that James Herzog was arrested for DUI. We guess eating two chickens, six wings, two ricks of ribs AND a cheeseburger is no match for a breathalyzer test.

[TC Palm]