Howard K Stern … You are NOT the Father! 

I’m sure most of you caught wind to this but to those who haven’t…

*clears throat*

The DNA test results are in, and Mr. Larry Birkhead is a 99.999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999% match to Anna Nicole Smith’s baby daughter, Dannielynn, a Bahamian judge ruled today! As of right now, Howard K. Stern is printed on the birth certificate as the father, and surprisingly, he’s taking to this news pretty well. He’s looking to help Larry get sole custody as soon as possible. But fuck all that, I know Larry is doin somersaults and cartwheels all over the place right now! As the sole provider of little Dannielynn, he stands to share Anna’s multimillion-dollar inheritance!!

“Everybody, I hate to be the one to tell you this — but I told you so,” Birkhead said outside the court as he smiled and threw his hands into the air. When asked what’s next, he said, “I’m going to the toy store.”

I remember saying earlier that I was done with this whole Anna Nicole Smith thing, but I just HAD to post this! For more on this, check out this CNN story…